b3ta.com user mort110
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Profile for mort110:
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I have a small dormouse's tail which I use for threading needles as well as a mongoose ear that I use for polishing buttons,

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» Tales of the Unexplained

the long and winding road!
Ha, I do haves a story to tell! its more weird than spooky.

Myself and an ex mrs mort used to live in a sleepy little idyl called Ripon, up in North Yorks. I'm originally from Manchester myself but the mrs originally hailed from York, not too far from Ripon. Her folks still lived there, and occasionally we'd drive over for a sunday lunch or whatnot.

One weekend we were driving back quite late at night. This is a route we'd done loads of times, and was pretty much the main route from York to Ripon. About half way home, where we pulled off the dual carriageway onto the back lanes we took to our place, we noticed that a transit van had pulled on to the same stretch of road behind us. We noticed this cos the fucker had his lights on hi beam and was right up our arses. he followed us for a good 5-10 minutes, with the mrs getting very anxious and me flashing him angry dagger eyes. Then the lights went off, no turning off the road, just went out, at the same point a car came round the bend and past us, as it went past its headlignts showed us there was no van there at all. Freaking out we had a look what time it was and the clock on the dashboard clicked on to 12.01am, weird!

we got the fuck out of there pretty sharpish.
(Thu 3rd Jul 2008, 15:56, More)

» Pure Ignorance

I See Dead People!
My mate sal, came out with the classic
"A lot of people have died, haven't they!"

I couldn't reply to that one,

another good mate, came out with this gem as we sat bleary eyed after a night out

"So mud is what you get when you mix water and earth together?"

(Thu 13th Jan 2005, 12:49, More)

» You're a moviestar baby

now magazine, baby!!!
yay, first post and what a corker!

I was snapped in the gym behind some wrinkly old bint who was doing some feature for now magazine, she was trying to be all smiley whilst sweating like a fat lass at a disco & cycling her little heart out,

then the photographer came up to me and said 'you'll be famous now son'

REALLY, so I smashed his camera into his face a la harry and scarpered in a blacked out benz *last bit may not be 100% fact*
(Thu 11th Nov 2004, 13:23, More)