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Profile for Fran:
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24 female London

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Best answers to questions:

» Stupid Tourists

....
I went to Gambia on an educational with the Gambian Tourist Board.

We was being shown round a resort that had alot of woodland. The guide said to us that we may come across monkeys.

About 5 seconds later I spotted a movement in the bushes and because I was excited I shouted to the rest of my group, "there's a monkey, theres a monkey" everyone crowded round to look at the monkey who turned out to be a Gambian man cleaning up the forest, he had a pitchfork to his side, his hand on his hip just giving me an evil look.

I seriously didnt see him there I just saw the movement in the tree's. The whole trip was spent with the rest of the group thinking I was a cockney BNP member!
(Mon 11th Jul 2005, 16:54, More)

» Hidden Treasure

Ginger Bottles
I live in London but my family are all from Glasgow.

When I was younger most of my summers were spent in Glasgow. My grandad would collect all the empty bottles of irn bru and coke for me as when you took them to a shop you got 10p on each of them.

My and my friend decided to go on a mission to find ginger bottles (thats what they call the juice bottles) and spent the day walking around the River Clyde.

We came across this sex doll but being ten years old we had no idea what it was. It was deflated and (Its making me gag even writing this) we kept blowing it up but after a couple of mins it kept doing down (the doll)

I decided to take it home to my grans to see if my Grandad could fix it.

Cue me walking into my grans with this half deflated blow up doll with this shocking face with her lips painted red and wide open.

Sadly my Grandad couldnt fix it and I was barred from ever going near the Clyde again.
(Thu 30th Jun 2005, 15:22, More)

» Scary Neighbours

Don't Move
3 doors away from us when I was younger lived a family who had a girl the same age as me. When I was about 7 I was sitting in the dining room eating my breakfast when my dad who had popped to the shops was pushed into the house by two very very large policemen wearing bullet proof vests shouting at him "get your fucking i.d and don't try anything funny"

I didn't have a clue until much later what had gone on.....

The girl had been bought a doll by her Gran that had a tape player in the back, one of the tapes was an information tape explaining how to call 999 if there was ever any fire and also how to ask for the police if there was ever any trouble etc etc.

Cue my neighbour lets call her Nikki ringing up the police half 8 in the morning telling them her daddy had just murdered her mummy and about 10 police cars with ARMED police came racing to my street.

My dad had dropped in their paper to them on his way back from the shops and cos the police could see his reflection in the frosted glass they went mad telling him to get on the floor etc, he said there was about 3 guns on him and all the time my Nikki's mum was screaming what the hell was going on.

The slap mark was still visable the next day on Nikki's face!

I wasn't allowed to play with Nikki after that!
(Thu 25th Aug 2005, 13:48, More)

» It's not me, it's the drugs talking

helloooooo
good question! I have lots and lots of stories the first one though is a story that still makes me laugh everytime I think of it.

A couple of years ago I got chatting to a boy I met on a music forum. We spent about 6 months chatting on msn and eventually arranged to meet up at a big rave.

That day I had bought 25 pills for 50p each and had the idea to sell them on. I arrive at this rave with my mates and I go to the meeting place and meet up with this boy lets call him John!

He was already pissed and he asked me if I had any pills so I gave him one and he asked for another, by this stage I was pretty gone myself so I handed it over and he asked for another one and another one, I thought he wanted them for his mates but to my horror I realised he had taken them all!

We was chatting for about 5 mins until he said "your pills are fucking shit" and with that walked away. I said to my mate oh well fuck him lets go dance.

About 20 mins later I was going to the toilet and by the fag machine I saw someone slumped over it with their tounge hanging out at one side, I realised it was John, I went over and asked him if he was ok but I couldnt make any sense of what he was saying, me and my friend walked him to the side and sat him down. He then proceeded to call me Bill, I asked him who Bill was he would look at me strangly and then ask who I was, I would say to him "its Fran, we met up earlier" to which he would reply "nah sorry mate dont know ya" he then started telling me about midgets falling from planes and also asking me to click on the red cross cos he didnt wanna be here anymore!

By this stage I knew he was just fucked and wasnt in any danger but decided to sit with him to make sure he was ok. I was smoking a joint and he kept asking for some, everytime I gave him some he would put the lit end in his mouth then throw the joint, so I had to keep getting it. he done this about 4 times until I just refused to give him any more smoke.

Then the creme de la creme of the evening..... my friend who was with me was drinking some water, she took a sip screwed the lid back on and John grabbed it off her, he undid the lid put the bottle to his ear and started shouting "what u calling me in a rave for, hello I cant hear you, what do you want" at the top of his voice, the water was all falling all over him and I dont think I have ever ever laughed so much in my life!

Remember kids drugs are bad!
(Fri 16th Dec 2005, 12:08, More)

» I was drunk when I bought this

Peer pressure
I am now the proud owner of a tattoo round my belly button with the words "made in heaven" was 15 at the time and pretty drunk and stoned.

My friends thought it would be great to get a tattoo down in the legendary place that was called Jacks. 1.00 a word! You had to have i.d and he didnt care what kind of i.d as long as it stated you was over 18. I had my friends mum's birth certificate which made me 36 at the time, he still didnt bat an eye lid.

Could of been worse for me though, one of my mates got "Made In England" and the other...... "Spice Power"

I am dreading the day I fall pregnant, can you imagine it when I go for a scan and I have a dirty big stretched tattoo over my bump reading "made in heaven" oh the shame.
(Wed 15th Jun 2005, 11:02, More)
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