» Personal Hygiene

I work for the maintenance department for a chain of shops.
My workmate was busy replacing some broken floor tiles near a tillpoint once, when an obese woman soiled herself.

She had reached the front of the queue and was busy searching through her purse for the correct change when she shat herself. She can't have been wearing any knickers, A stream of loose stools fell in a pile on the floor straight between her legs.
She showed no sign that she was aware of what had happened, not a grunt or strain, she never even blushed or attempted to apologise, just took her shopping and left, seemingly oblivious.

The manager asked my friend to clean it up, he declined.
(Tue 27th Mar 2007, 0:47, More)

» Evidence that you're getting old

I shat myself the other day.
Old people do that ,don't they?
Of course i had a dose of gastric flu but it was a terrible glimpse of the future.
(Sun 31st Oct 2004, 1:49, More)

» Insults

An old lad i work with is rather fond of insults.
Every morning he greets each of us with either "Morning arseholes!" or a cheery "Fuck off wankers!"
If he has a problem with someone, he'll say "I've shit better people than you!" or "I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire!"
He looks like Fred Dibnah as well, I love working with him.
(Mon 8th Oct 2007, 13:52, More)