» Petty Sabotage

Am so sooorrryyyy - not
Used to work in on off licence and got pissed off with customers wandering in for a chocolate bar etc and not booze. I did the following for 4 years :

Maltesers - I would pop half of them between my fingers in the bag so when you opened it you got malteser dust
Polo Mints - I would bang them repeatedly on the desk to shatter them all so when you opened the pack they collapsed.
Kettle chips - i made little holes in the bottoms of the bag so they went stale in the pack
Pringles - I kicked the shit out the boxes so the crisps broke
Caramel, Mars, Snickers - I would store by the heater so the insides melted

I then upgraded to when customers asked if i "had something cold" eg beer, champagne, I would go out the back and shake the bottles vigourously before bringing it out front and selling it

To anyone who bought any of the following from the old wine merchants on Wandsworth Common I could say I'm sorry , but Nah!

I don't think the retail sector suited me....
(Tue 10th May 2005, 17:34, More)

» Scars with history

From an Armed Robbery
Got 13 stiches in the lovely shape of an "L" on the plam of my left hand when I got stabbed in an Armed Robbery. Severed tendon, lots of blood. F**ker locked me up whist the waiting for he time lock to go off.

Police caught him 2 years later and he got 18 years for the attack on me...

Justice - nice!
(Fri 4th Feb 2005, 10:38, More)

» Evidence that you're getting old

Seems to happen more and more.....
Staying in a saturday night, watching the TV and enjoying it...i am disgusted with myself
(Thu 28th Oct 2004, 13:51, More)

» Slang Survey

No muff too tough....
We use " furry muf " instead of 'Fair enough' - especially when used in meetings you cansee the expression on their face when they aren't too sure if they heard correctly
(Tue 3rd Feb 2004, 13:22, More)