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Johno says the chances of anything coming from mars are a million to one

rich. johno (@) thegooglemail . youknowtherest

I Live in Hampshire; This is in England

i hate bandwagons

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Johnny Carson
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johno says the chances of anything coming from mars are a million to one

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never did trust these fucking things

Recent front page messages:

ah ha
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(Fri 28th Jan 2005, 12:17, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Why should you be fired from your job?

how about "why you shouldnt be employed?"
i cant think of any reasons why i should be sacked from my job, but i remember my first ever interview at a well known supermarket.

when asked "have your friends ever asked you to do something for them?", i answered "yes, my friend asked me to look after his cat while he was on holiday, but i refused as i am allergic to them"

"very well" says the interviewer "how about any other times?"

unable to think, i answer with the truth "no, my friends dont trust me"

there goes my job on a checkout!

3 months later i was working in a well known supermarket of the same name but 5 miles up the road. i took a pound from my till everyday to pay for my lunch....i should have been fired really
(Tue 14th Aug 2007, 0:18, More)

» Never Meet Your Heroes

i also met peirs morgan in a W H Smiths at 5am in gatwick airport. no one else had spotted him, he looked like shit, and wasnt there to sign books (he was buying an FT and a couple of other papers, but not, interestingly, a Mirror). I grabbed his book off the shelf and asked him to sign it for me, he seemed shocked i had recognised him, and signed it happily. when he left i put the book back on the shelf and brought Maxim. Although nice in person, i find the bloke intollerable, unfunny and put him in the pile of useless red top paper editors (wankers).
(Tue 30th May 2006, 19:00, More)

» Never Meet Your Heroes

she was never a hero, but i was a fan
when i was about 7 or 8, my family took me to a nintendo roadshow to celebrate the release of the SNES. It was a brilliant day, lots of video gaming and shows and 'famous people'. while out in one of the snes caravans, i was happily playing street fighter, when from nowhere appeared a giant black lady in a lycra/spandex outfit. It took me a second to realise she was 'The Deadly Nightshade' from legendary british TV show Gladiators.
"What are you playing?" she asks,
"erm, streetfighter" i said, quite whimsily.
"Can i play?"
i just nodded and then preceeded to pound her for 2 rounds. "your just too good for me" she boomed and then walked away. I must say, i'd rather have played shadow, and then watch him destroy the joypad when he lost, but i dont think he was there (possibly when he had just been sorted out for taking steroids).

that day will always be the day i beat up a gladiator. i wasnt disapointed in the least, i smiled for days (or a few minutes)
(Tue 30th May 2006, 18:54, More)

» Debt pron

i missed 6 minimum payments on a credit card recently
and now i cant get a loan, with anyone, at all.
even a company i have had finance and loans with for nearly 7 years, and never missed a payment with, have refused me on the grounds of my current credit rating.

if i found a delorean tomorrow, and i looked like michael j fox, i would travel back to 2002 and tell my self "dont get that credit card" (and also take a list of football results ;)

i do feel if i were a student/imigrent/dole seaker and the like, the bank would have rolled out the red carpet. but seeing as im just a regular full time worker, who pays his taxes, im not good enough. oh well
(Thu 23rd Nov 2006, 20:13, More)

» The Worst Journey in the World

once upon a time
well quite recently, i was flying to canada. A while into the flight, i needed the loo, so went to the toilet, got back and noticed my ipod was missing.....

oh you know ;)
(Sun 10th Sep 2006, 2:54, More)
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