b3ta.com user Fordprefect
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» When I met the parents

laugh I nearly chuckled
My now girlfriend, being of the ditzy and confused variety, met my parents and brother with the now immortal line " pleased to meet you, my best friend married
a chuckle brother" cue stunned silence.

She has no explanation to this day for this outburst.

Apparently it was the taller one.
(Sun 22nd May 2005, 16:39, More)

» Petty Sabotage

sorry lee
In my first year in uni i had to share a corridor with 3 chavish, really dumb engineering student twunts

They did the usual annoying food stealing, shouting ignorant things, going on about their sexual prowess whilst never getting a woman.

anyways just b4 the big end of year exams they decided to loudly plan 2 steal milk from one of my friends who lived downstairs, as our fridge was empty and they were too skanky 2 buy their own. cue hasty phone call to mate and replacement of milk with laxative and shaving foam.

hope those rice krispies were nice lee, hahaha, i hope you read this.
(Wed 4th May 2005, 20:58, More)

» Obscure Memorabilia

Harry Hill's Karate chopped balsa wood
Got from one of his live stage shows in a pub in Putney. Gave me a splinter.

Plus a bit of paper he had written David Beckham on. I forget the joke it refers to.
(Thu 4th Nov 2004, 11:52, More)

» When animals attack...

bang! we all like a good bang
has anyone tried the pigeon-exploding-having-been-given-aspirin thing? if so do you have pictures.

slightly off topic, so many apol-ogies
(Sun 5th Jun 2005, 15:26, More)

» When animals attack...

Oh you pretty things
o o o! This seems a popular post, let me play also.

One morning I sleepily poured myself a bowl of sugar puffs and high on sugar wasps, nummee num nums! I was 6 and it scared the poo out of me, god knows how they got in there.

Or the time when I was 2 and mr wasp, not content with drowning in my padddling pool, decided although it was sure to die it would masquerade as a piece of wood and sting unsuspecting toddlers

My biology teacher loved wasps, she stood up for them with the whole delicate ecosystem thing, and thats why we cant kill them all, frankly Im willing to take the risk.

Let us b3tans declare war on the yellow and black jacketed basterds!
(Fri 3rd Jun 2005, 13:04, More)
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