» My Worst Date

Captain Narco.
i was at a party in Turnpike lane. chatted to a girl in the kitchen - Pr type - she nattered on about her travels til i could slide her off for some rudeness.

get her in my mates rank room (mine was occupied at the time).

i manage to get her undressed and manfully whip on a condom...i lean forward...Captain priapic
..and fall asleep.
face first.

i wake up in the morning, with condom hanging limply with a mild notion of asking for some morning rumpy when she pipes up 'this place is a shithole'and promptly leaves after taking 15 quid for a taxi.

the worst thing was that i decided to ring her a few days later. she said that she was watching the football.
forever.
ho hum.
oh, and i had fairly bad 'bachne' at the time which she'd been looking at for most of the morning.
(Tue 26th Oct 2004, 16:41, More)

» Obscure Memorabilia

my mate has..
the head from the robot dude in the original alien when he was on fire.

in his cupboard.
(Thu 4th Nov 2004, 17:50, More)

» Evidence that you're getting old

Porn Ladies...
...i worry that some of them should get some life experience first before showing me their 'rudest of rudes'...

gah.
(Thu 28th Oct 2004, 15:05, More)

» Evidence that you're getting old

come on granma, mosh like ya mean it!
well, john peel has just done the ultimate ageing...gawd bless him. hope he's playing some tunes up there.

right,
1. i do about 600 bloody situps a week and i'm still the flabby devil child of homer simpson and pooh ruddy bear.

2. i'm sure i did'nt use to fart this much.

3.my new technology face has gone from 'joy!' to 'huh?'

4. i still like the pixies.

5. i'm gonna buy a house in melbourne next year.

hold on - that last one rocked! therefore i still rock! bring it on!

bring on that surf t-shirt! (hmm..or maybe that should have been number 6...i just went shopping on carnaby street and i swear they employ child labour)
(Thu 28th Oct 2004, 14:34, More)