b3ta.com user Iki
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Gunstar Heroes rules.

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» How nerdy are you?

I know this isn't an image challenge...
...but this is thoroughly appropriate.

Is it frowned upon to post images directly into QOTW answers? I decided I'd play it safe and link for I am not sure.

EDIT: Bugger it, it's only 17kb.
(Sat 8th Mar 2008, 21:01, More)

» Kids say the shittiest things

Single question, double bigotry!
Might be roasting peas here, but it's been so long since I've posted that I can't remember doing it. Or the question. Or where I am. Who are you people?

Anyway, the story. Once upon a time, my aunt worked at a primary school. One day she's supervising the little chitlins when one of them comes up to her and asks:

"Miss... am I a homo or a paki?"

You can imagine the outrage that flashes through my auntie's mind in the moments following. She's already worked out the first half of the interrogation routine and mentally looked up the phone number of the child's parents.

Thankfully, being a Scot in a Scottish school, she translated the local patter into the Queen's and figured out what the child actually meant:

"Begging your pardon, madame, but would you happen to know whether I am marked down as a home lunch or a packed lunch?"

Darndest things, indeed.
(Thu 23rd May 2013, 16:34, More)

» Pretentious bollocks

Sort of counts...
People who think they're sophisticated by going to see Shakespeare.

Obviously they don't realise it was written for medieval peasants, most of whom couldn't read. Well done morons, that's very fucking sophisticated.
(Wed 28th Sep 2005, 17:34, More)

» Misunderstood

From the mouths of children
My aunt worked in a primary school for a while, and this was one of her treasured stories. Small child comes up to her and asks the following question; imagine a Scottish accent.

"Miss; am I a homo or a paki?"

Aunt goes into 'wtf' mode for about 3 seconds before she realises what the child means, which turns out to be rather innocent and it's her own twisted brain that brought the wrong thoughts into focus.

The child was asking if she was a home lunch or a packed lunch.

Could've ended in an punishment exercise, dont'cha know. Apologies for odour.
(Fri 7th Oct 2005, 16:01, More)

» Guilty Pleasures

Waving to people...
...who don't realise I have my dick in my hand.
(Thu 7th Apr 2005, 15:52, More)
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