Profile for Ted Cunterblast:
Hero of the Mary Poppins pr0n sequel - 'It's superflagecunnilingussexpwillycoitus'...
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
[read all their answers]
- a member for 19 years, 5 months and 18 days
- has posted 0 messages on the main board
- has posted 0 messages on the talk board
- has posted 0 messages on the links board
- has posted 11 stories and 7 replies on question of the week
- They liked 0 pictures, 0 links, 0 talk posts, and 1 qotw answers.
- Ignore this user
- Add this user as a friend
- send me a message
Hero of the Mary Poppins pr0n sequel - 'It's superflagecunnilingussexpwillycoitus'...
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Vomit Pt2
Lung butter
On duty over xmas, ER full, inhaling the fumes coming off most of the punters enough to take you over .05...
Bill is wheeled in to the packed waiting room.
Bill has a 'fruity' chest infection.
He also has a permanent tracheostomy, and poor co-ordination.
He's relatively quiet until a particularly brutal bout of coughing ejects a copious stream of lung butter - more than enough to make an elephant slip - from his tracheostomy, all over half the waiting room.
Cue synchronised spontaneous vomiting - a veritable Tsunami of chunder.
The spectacle was only improved by the unaffected punters setting up an impromptu vom-slide...
(Fri 8th Jan 2010, 3:19, More)
Lung butter
On duty over xmas, ER full, inhaling the fumes coming off most of the punters enough to take you over .05...
Bill is wheeled in to the packed waiting room.
Bill has a 'fruity' chest infection.
He also has a permanent tracheostomy, and poor co-ordination.
He's relatively quiet until a particularly brutal bout of coughing ejects a copious stream of lung butter - more than enough to make an elephant slip - from his tracheostomy, all over half the waiting room.
Cue synchronised spontaneous vomiting - a veritable Tsunami of chunder.
The spectacle was only improved by the unaffected punters setting up an impromptu vom-slide...
(Fri 8th Jan 2010, 3:19, More)
» Accidental innuendo
Sorry
Personally, I always thought innuendo was an Italian suppository...
(Fri 13th Jun 2008, 7:57, More)
Sorry
Personally, I always thought innuendo was an Italian suppository...
(Fri 13th Jun 2008, 7:57, More)
» Accidental innuendo
One must always check one's undercarriage....
Many years ago in a galaxy far,far away - or Leicester, to the uninitiated, a pathology class was dedicated to genitourinary tumours - lumps in one's undercarriage - and one particularly unremarkable specimen was asked to describe a disembodied nad, which happened to contain a rather large seminoma (not a pudding, btw).
Not really understanding the question, our hero looks flustered.
"Well, is it enlarged?" asked the lecturer.
"I dunno, I've nothing to compare it to..."
/ I'll get my scrote
(Fri 13th Jun 2008, 8:13, More)
One must always check one's undercarriage....
Many years ago in a galaxy far,far away - or Leicester, to the uninitiated, a pathology class was dedicated to genitourinary tumours - lumps in one's undercarriage - and one particularly unremarkable specimen was asked to describe a disembodied nad, which happened to contain a rather large seminoma (not a pudding, btw).
Not really understanding the question, our hero looks flustered.
"Well, is it enlarged?" asked the lecturer.
"I dunno, I've nothing to compare it to..."
/ I'll get my scrote
(Fri 13th Jun 2008, 8:13, More)
» You're a moviestar baby
Honeymooning in Sri Lanka
We'd been deposited in the foyer of an admittedly luxurious jungle hotel by our personal driver (sounds a bit wanky but we were a bit up ourselves in those days), when a group of screming nubile local girls swarmed around us for autographs.
The local TV crew had turned out (although local would have been a 300 mile round trip)
They thought I was Chuck Norris....
(Sun 14th Nov 2004, 23:44, More)
Honeymooning in Sri Lanka
We'd been deposited in the foyer of an admittedly luxurious jungle hotel by our personal driver (sounds a bit wanky but we were a bit up ourselves in those days), when a group of screming nubile local girls swarmed around us for autographs.
The local TV crew had turned out (although local would have been a 300 mile round trip)
They thought I was Chuck Norris....
(Sun 14th Nov 2004, 23:44, More)
» Vomit Pt2
It's like feta, honest
When my youngest daughter was fresh-minted and shiny, naught would please her - or me, for that matter - more than a 'pick-up-and-swing-around' ...
Unfortunately, too soon after a pop at her mother's churns resulted in the expulsion of something approximating Greece's annual cheese output.
Fortunately the carpet was saved by my catching most of it - in my mouth...
Needed more olives, I reckon.
(Mon 11th Jan 2010, 21:58, More)
It's like feta, honest
When my youngest daughter was fresh-minted and shiny, naught would please her - or me, for that matter - more than a 'pick-up-and-swing-around' ...
Unfortunately, too soon after a pop at her mother's churns resulted in the expulsion of something approximating Greece's annual cheese output.
Fortunately the carpet was saved by my catching most of it - in my mouth...
Needed more olives, I reckon.
(Mon 11th Jan 2010, 21:58, More)