b3ta.com user Lurchio
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» Misunderstood

True story
Many years ago my younger brother (aged two at the time) decided it would be a good idea to swallow a screw whilst my dad was doing some DIY.

Much distress ensued not helped by him spitting up chunks of blood. Fast forward to local accident and emergency department where we are seen by very kind and very indian paediatric doctor who agrees that my brother should be admitted for observation. He then goes up to the paediatric ward to tell the nurses about the new admission who swallowed a screw.

Fast forward some more to a group of nurses coming down to a&e to see the 2 year old boy who has swallowed a squirrel! HAHA much mirth directed at the doctor with the Indian accent and disappointment from the nurses who expected some bushy tailed rat to be hanging out my bro's mouth.
(Sun 9th Oct 2005, 12:28, More)

» Scary Neighbours

I live in a block of flat
On one side I have one guy who sounds as if he is dying of cancer as he coughs up most of a lung a various points during the day.
Below me I have a club DJ who enjoys spinning his wheels of steel throughout the night
And on the other side are a couple of guys who spend most weekends fucking each other at top volume.
Anyone looking for a flat in London? Mech cheapness
(Fri 26th Aug 2005, 9:59, More)

» Pure Ignorance

I have heard...
That you can get paid 32k per year for making tea.
(Sun 9th Jan 2005, 18:58, More)

» You're a moviestar baby

Funky Monkey
I have on many occasions been fortunate enough to being in the audience on Jools Holland. Great music, great bands but unfortunately I have been caught dancing like a twat many times. If they could see me now....
(Fri 12th Nov 2004, 1:23, More)