b3ta.com user VodkaMargarine
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» Doctors, Nurses, Dentists and Hospitals

Our university campus nurse was amazing....
There was the annual mumps outbreak on campus, which prompted the uni to make sure we all had the MMR jab.
I was just behind one of my best mates and we both went in the room together. My mate starts telling the nurse about the last injection he had with the "six pricks" which caused him to faint.
The nurse came out with the best reply ever "If i had six pricks inside me, of course i'd faint!!!"
(Sun 14th Mar 2010, 23:20, More)

» Accidental innuendo

i'm a call centre monkey for a well known breakdown company.

me: how can i help you?
customer: i cant get my nuts off...
me: (snigger)
customer: wheel nuts, i mean (snigger)

by this point we are both laughing out loud, where i advise i can only send a male patrol to help him with getting his nuts off, as we don't really have female ones!

much amusement was had by both! :)
(Sat 14th Jun 2008, 13:57, More)

» The nicest thing someone's ever done for me

my best friends...
During my first year of uni, i was going through a very bad time. I'd found out that my so called best mate was sleeping with my boyfriend. She even went to the extent of freezing me out of the friendship group we hung out with (and lived with). So with "my friends" hating me and a relationship ruined, i sank into a deep depression. So much so that i thought it would be a good idea to end it all.
So i brought pills and vodka and began to drink in a park by uni. Only to get a phone call (bloody forgot to turn my mobile off).
this phone call was from a guy i hardly knew and met him a few days before. He is a very extroverted character and sometimes can be difficult to handle. He explained he heard what happened and wanted to know if i was okay.
At that moment i broke down and told him. He come and got me and took me to the uni nurse to get some help and then took me to one of the halls.
There he introduced me to 5 people who at first didn't know what i did, but took me under their wings and looked after me. (mainly with tea, biscuits and laughter).
To this day we are all very close and they have been there and supported me through everything (without judging me) - and i have for them.
Without them i really do believe that i wouldn't be here today. They have given me trust back in people and shown that not everyone is mean!
To all you guys (you know who you are) i love you all!!!
(Mon 6th Oct 2008, 1:55, More)

» Ginger

We go for a drink in the local pub...
I was with my ex-boyfriend at the time who is ginger, and we were with a few friends. We are sitting in this old run-down pub on a quiet sunday with our pints, trying to decide what to order from the food menu. When this man comes up to us, pats my ex on the shoulder and says.. "well done you, a ginger with friends!!!"
(Sun 28th Feb 2010, 2:40, More)

» Customers from Hell

Slightly off topic but relevant...
My housemate works for the big green supermarket as a till bunny / trolley collector.
After arriving to pick him up after his shift, i couldnt get in the store because of an ambulance and a few police cars! ooohhhh i thought trolley rage gone wrong perhaps?
When i managed to get in a few tills were closed while the 'aces' were cleaning up blood being hidden by a medical screen.
Q housemate a nice shade of green and explained a man (who had just discharged himself from the looney bin) stabbed a guy in the leg while in the Q to pay for his shopping just because the looney man thought that he was MI5 following him.
As it was at housemates till he jumped off and tried to aid stabbed and bleeding man while big burley men disarm the nutter and sit on him.
While management take over my housemate is given the job of getting people out of the way to give space etc "nothing to see here" type thing.
Q one stupid woman desperate to get housemates attention, waving arms, so housemate thinking a friend or relative (the man was with his young son when stabbed)
Housemate: "are you related to the man involved in the incident?"
Woman: "no. can you tell me where the eggs are?"

(Tue 9th Sep 2008, 11:25, More)
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