» Never Meet Your Heroes

Should have put her foot down......
What must be about 10 years ago I had a ladyfriend from Cornwall come to visit me in Newcastle. I was still living at home at the time, being nothing more than a spotty 6thformer.We had a wonderful week together which came to an end too soon. We had missed the bus to the station where my friend was catching her train home from, so my mother offered us a lift. My mum's driving has never been much cop but when there is the slightest pressure on her to get somewhere it becomes even worse. Cue a horrendous trip through the streets of Newcastle & Gateshead and a good few near misses before pulling into the pickup area of Central Station. We had been in quite a hurry and my mum, bless her socks, was doing her best impression of Nigel Mansell to make good time. Screeching round the corner next to the station entrance in her Seat Marbella (like a Panda, but cheaper and lighter), she stopped just in time to avoid a huge throng of people making their way into the station. It became quickly obvious that the various people diving left and right to avoid the shoddy red car were paperazzi, dripping with microphones and cameras. In the middle of the quickly dispersed crowd was a rather startled and frightened Tony Blair MP(at the time).

Who needs fancy assasination squads? A crazed woman in a clapped out Marbella will do the job much cheaper. I should maybe point out that Tony has never been a hero of mine, so maybe I'm wasting your time.

Apologies.
(Fri 26th May 2006, 15:34, More)

» Mugged

Train 'Mugging'
A friend of mine works in London, lives in St. Albans and uses the train to commute. After a beery work do, and feeling a bit worse for wear, he catches the train to St. Albans, promptly falls asleep and wakes up at the depot in Bedford in an empty train, forced to indulge in a very pricey taxi home.

Some weeks later, same mate drinks just as much at a works do, and feels just as sleepy. Wise to the situation after the previous time, he sets the alarm on his phone to wake him up in plenty of time before his stop at St.Albans. Phone in hand, he drifts rapidly into a dreamy slumber.
He then wakes up, and recognises the cold dark train depot in Bedford, and cursing his luck, checks to see why his alarm didn't wake him up. It quickly becomes very obvious that his phone didn't alert him as it had been plied from his sleeping grip. So he eventually gets home minus his phone and another enormous taxi fee. Ouch.
(Fri 16th Jun 2006, 13:19, More)

» Ignoring Instructions

Post
I was told not to post anything on b3ta.com.

shortnsweet. No apologies.
(Thu 4th May 2006, 15:26, More)

» You're a moviestar baby

School for Seduction
A friend and I managed to get ourselves on the set of the forthcoming BritFlick 'School for Seduction'. We were wooed with the opportunity to meet Kelly Brook and Tim Healey but ended up in a scene in a Supermarket looking like a pair of gay shoppers. My mate Larry is in the immediate background and I am the blur with the cream pullover behind in this promotional preview shot. At least we know we're in the film....
www.thezreview.co.uk/news3/schoolforseduction06.htm
(Wed 17th Nov 2004, 12:09, More)