b3ta.com user audreyforbes
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Profile for audreyforbes:
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Twenty-X Rugby fan, even bigger fan of Mark Cueto. Enjoys all manor of alcoholic beverages currently Gin features very heavily, rather unhealthy obsession with Richard Hammond and Penelope Keith.

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Best answers to questions:

» Best and worst TV ads

Boy eating a C*ck
Is it just me - WHENEVER I see the Ford KA advert (the one where you have to find the hidden Ka's - ohh entertaining!) - there is a little boy eating an Ice-Lolly - it is supposed to be in the shape of a Ka - I on the other hand see him eating a rather large C*ck.

Every. Time.
(Thu 15th Apr 2010, 16:50, More)

» Pet Peeves

I am the orginal grumpy old man
Where do I begin?

Wet flannels
People who can't hold a knife and fork properly
People who say lol on texts/emails
The lower classes
Stupid ringtones
Automated phone systems
People who say rugby players are gay/sniff each others bottoms (and generally display just how ignorant a football fan they really are)
Bad manners
Daily Mail readers
Estate Agents who send you details of houses that you have told them are not suitable
People who order coffee in a pub
Kids who walk around playing music on their phones
People who walk round with their jeans haning off their arses

I could go on.. but my BP is rising and I have to go deal with some Germans...

oh yes, and Germans
(Tue 6th May 2008, 13:54, More)

» Well, that taught 'em

Response to the German Look
For those who prefer not to end up with a mouthful of puabs - a line form Will and Grace had me in stiches- which if said to me I wouldn't take offence to..

Makauly Culkin throws a few notes at Karen and tell her to get a bikini wax as

'he prefers a clean workspace'

Still makes me laugh now!
(Fri 27th Apr 2007, 16:08, More)

» Other people's diaries

Usual preference for the older, cleverer sister
I started a diary as a fairly dull teenager with nothing to report about how much i hated my sister and wether Mark Castielli was in school that day (sigh/flutter eylashes etc).

Any hoo, one evenig at dinner, my dad told me off for swearing too much in my diary. Then my sister told me off for writing that she had hit me on some day or other and that I had hit her first blah blah blah.

My entire family had not only read my diary- but felt that they should comment on its content.

Now up until this point I had only ventured into my sisters room to borrow clothes/wear her make up etc- but decided the time was right to read HER diary, especially as she had a boyfriend as this point.

Cue her really pissing me off one evening and standing in the kitchen with her mates looking all older-sister-smug about bullying me i recited a passage I remembered from her diary

" Robs (the bf) got a purple one- of all colours"

My sister went BRIGHT red, called me a bitch and came running after me.

No idea whaat she meant at the time (I am now presuming condom???) but my mum came running upstairs and got the MASSIVE hairy pube on with me about reading the sisters diary/privacy/not embarrasing her in front of her friends.

Not exactly interesting, or fair but there we go.

(Tue 6th Feb 2007, 12:51, More)

» When I met the parents

The Devil Son-In-Law
Not me, but my Dad. My Mums family is Polish, and my Great Gran was VERY Catholic. Mum invited my Dad round for dinner, cue the Vodka coming out. Halfway through dinner, imagine the family politely eating and drinking, and my Dad passed out under the table snoring no doubt rather loudly, and my mad Great Gran thinking he was the devil-hissing and making signs of the cross at him.

Not much has really changed, last Christmas he ended up passed out behind the sofa while the rest of the family opened their presents. Oh how I admire him!!!!
(Mon 23rd May 2005, 13:13, More)
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