» Why I was late

Working for a big finance company in my Gap year...
And was on my way back from a very heavy evening out followed by a night of drunken sex with one of his housemates, phoned up work and my befuddled hungover brain decided that the best reason to give for my lateness was:

"Sorry I'm going to be a bit late, my housemate has disappeared and I'm just looking for him"

Ridiculous.
(Fri 29th Jun 2007, 11:46, More)

» Worst Nicknames Ever

Nicknames suck / Nicknames rule.
Ok so some people call me Yogi these days, and it's the lamest stupidest reason ever. When I used to work at a ski slope I was riding in a brown sweater and someone said that in the distance I look like a bear. That's the whole story. Five years and it's never left me.

Back in school there were loads of nicknames, but they were all kind of in a theme / formula:

first letter of first name + last name = nickname.
there were good and bad ones:
brussell
bland
scarey
mlewis
dcarey
mromain (properly hard to say but we pretty much managed it)
mmmmmmmpeterson (said like mmm... donuts)
jrussell

there were a few special ones though, most notably butt who had a centre parting that "looked like a butt" (read: looked like a centre parting). He's the winner though, still a very good friend of mine and now in a very fashionable synth-rock band attracting much media attention and adulation, and the coolest most lovable idiot I know.

Also amongst many of my friends it's quite acceptable to call any particular person "maaahn" or "jeeeymes".

Edit: one of my mates was "Lord of Grundor" for most of last year.

No apologies for length, if it hurts just read the very tip.
(Fri 19th May 2006, 0:09, More)