b3ta.com user Green Spanner
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Profile for Green Spanner:
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Hello. I'm Green Spanner. I make simplistic stuff to compensate for my excessive lack of talent.
I live in the very south of England (Portsmouth London to be exact), though I have a father who lives in Philadelphia.
My real name, age and appearance are secrets. It's more fun to make you all guess.
OH SHIT! NobbyNobody and Bovine have seen me in person! They know! THEY KNOW!
Disregard that: I went to a bash, and now a few people know what I look like.

One time I walked from Mile End to Knightsbridge and back, on a 15 mile whistle-stop tour of London that has been dubbed "Epic Walk" (by me mostly). You can simulate the feeling of it by getting two friends, having one smack your lower body with a cricket back and the other running sandpaper against your feet.
You'll feel exactly the same as I did the next day. Trust me.

I reached 1000 posts after 3 years and 3 months! (NOT A LURKER IN ANY WAY)
By contrast, I reached 1500 in 3 years, 4 months and 6 days. Here is what I made for this momentous milestone of posts:

And I reached 2000 posts after 3 years, 4 months and 12 days!

Below is a selection of comics to give you an idea of the shit crap stuff I make (click all of them for bigness):

And so on.

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Stuff I've found

An un-opened Curly-Wurly in the park.
Fuck. Yes.
(Thu 6th Nov 2008, 13:26, More)

» Scary Neighbours

Not scary...
Both my neighbors, left AND right are called Frank. Both of them. I call them Alpha frank and Beta Frank.
That's really not scary though.
(Tue 30th Aug 2005, 20:20, More)

» I just don't get it

Jehovas witnesses
If their religion is so great, why do they have to go door to door persuading people to join them?
(Sat 2nd Apr 2005, 21:41, More)

» Guilty Laughs

Everything there is so fucking expensive, especially the food. So I couldn't help but laugh* when a little girl made her way down a grassy bank to the vendor, payed the extortion for a burger, and made her way back, only to trip and have the whole thing to fly out of her hand and land on the grass, which promptly stuck to it like velcro. When she picked it up, it was more grass than burger.

She didn't even get a single bite in.

*because I'm a cunt
(Thu 22nd Jul 2010, 15:35, More)

» Get Rich Quick

I'm sure I've already posted this at some point...
...but a friend of mine when we were younger once went up to a smaller child who had a pound coin.
"I'll swap my shiny 50p for your dull 1 pound..."
Totally worked. 50p in the black.
(Thu 31st Jul 2008, 20:47, More)
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