b3ta.com user carlspick
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Hello - My Name's Carl. I am a Biochemist and know nothing about art. This is why I post on B3ta.

I know bits of HTML but CSS? Hell no! That's why I thank B3ta Profile Messer Arounder without which I'd look even more stupid.

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» In the Army Now - The joy of the Armed Forces

WWII Carnage
My great uncle didn't speak much about his navy days. One shred that came out during sunday dinner:

their ship came alongside a beaten german ship to pick up survivors. The germans filled the full deck of their ship with white phosphorus and my great uncle proceded to push his friends into the sea screaming covered head to toe in burning phosphorus. They apparently exploded on impact.

Then we were just left with silence. Awkward as hell. He never picked up his medals.
(Tue 28th Mar 2006, 2:00, More)

» DIY fashion

Can do anything a spider can

DIY indeed. Mask was a balaclava and tea strainers and the suit a mixture of tights, vest, t shirt, socks and duct tape.

My mate looks like a pervert.
(Thu 24th Aug 2006, 23:47, More)

» Petty Sabotage

Re: Petty Sabotage
Listen all ya'aal its a SABOTAGE!

Few of us blocked up a sink on a school trip to france, pissed in the sink and got our teacher to fish in the sink to try and unblock it.
(Wed 4th May 2005, 23:49, More)

» * PFFT *

Stink Out
Working for a removal company one summer I was treated to a 'stink out'. I was sat in the middle seat gagging with strings of saliva and watering eyes whislt the other porter and driver (the rules stipulated they couldn't try and suppress the foul stench with jumpers etc) waited to see who would open the window first.

The SAME WEEK I was with a driver doing a small house move. He was complaining about bad guts all morning. After exclaiming "ooooeeeer it were the kippers" in a harsh yorkshire tongue me and the other porter were treated to a fishy egg death cloud that left us both hanging out the window wretching furously. My mate, bless him, was even sick.
(Fri 13th Jul 2007, 18:16, More)

» Now, there was no need for that...

No Need
I went to casualty blooded after coming off my bike in Richmond Park.

There was no need for the fat Chav mum in Kingston hospital to say I was disgusting for walking in covered in blood and dripping everywhere.

There was no need for nurses then to clean the gravel out of the jelly layer under my skin with a scouring pad either.
(Thu 16th Jun 2005, 14:29, More)
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