b3ta.com user The Rabbi
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» Cringe!

Sperm :o(
I was about 15 years old, it was a Saturday morning in 95.
As usual I awoke with a bit of morning glory.
Having no porn in the house (my mother can sniff a jazz mag from a thousand paces) I settled for the best possible option available to me.
I flicked around the TV channels and the only female on view was the wonderful Zoe Ball on Live & Kicking.
A few glorious minutes later I was looking for something to mop up with. Nothing at hand other than a sock, so I mopped up and threw the sock under my bed.

I went downstairs for a shower, brushed my teeth, got a bowl of coco pops and was walking back to my bedroom when I see my mother coming down the stairs having just cleaned my room.
As I walk past her she has a load of laundry in her arms and she says the words which will haunt me until death.

"Rabbi, don't you ever blow your nose on your sock again! I have it all over my hands!"


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(Wed 3rd Dec 2008, 0:39, More)

» Claims to Fame

Botox!
My Auntie was the first person in the world to have Botox treatment,, she worked as a receptionist for the doctor who came up with it all (somewhere in Canada).
The idea sprang to his mind when he noticed that at the begining of the day she was fresh faced and an ideal representative of his business, by the end of the day her face drooped and actually physically scared the patients...
She got to do some tv shows in the states last year for Botox's anniversary. (cnn i think)

She also has massive tits!
(Thu 24th Feb 2005, 22:24, More)