» School fights

Twin bonfire trouble
We used to build bonfires every October school holiday leading up to torching it on Nov 5. This generally involved local deforestation by us using axes, knives, saws and whatever else we could find/nick/borrow.

One year I got into a dispute with one of the Bartlett twins (right hard annoying f@ckers they were). Anyway, one hits me across the back with a rose bush, so I chased him down the road, repeatedly throwing my 8 inch carving knife at him (missed every time). Then proceeded to stand outside his house chopping up his fence whilst shouting "send him out" or something similar. His mum thought it wasn't a good idea.

When I got home that night, we'd had a visit from the police. Luckily for me, the (cocky) rozzer had a go at my parents for letting me out with a big knife. Parents took offence, sent said rozzer away and I didn't cop any punishment for it. RESULT!

I often wonder what prison the twins are in now.

Me, I'm a well adjusted member of society now.
(Wed 15th Mar 2006, 13:03, More)

» Shame

Poor little birdy
A starling was nicely perched on the telphone cable between our house and next door, singly sweetly away. Until I shot it with an air rifle. The bullet passed through the birds brain from under it's beak. As if this wasn't bad enough, it rotated 180 degrees hanging on to the cable, blood dripping from it's beak onto the floor near me.

Also managed to break a sparrows neck with a home made catapult (elastic bands and old mattress spring). I left it food, it ate and I got the bugger with a stone. I rushed to the garden and tried to revive it. Alas it was not to be. I buried it in the back garden with a few sad words.

The silly thing is I quite like our avian friends!

The shame.
(Fri 25th Nov 2005, 11:25, More)

» Fire!

Fire - Walk with me
So many fires! So many tales!

Every year we would build our own fire for Nov 5th by cutting down the local trees. Each night we would have a small camp fire to 'Guard' our main fire. One of us decided that petrol would indeed be a good accelerant and proceeded to syphon it out of his Dad's outboard motor into a glass jar. A couple of hours later, it was time to pour it onto the fire.

Did I say pour? Yup and very slowly too!

Cue the flame climbing from the fire into the jar very quickly and said jar being dropped like a hot potato. Now we have burning petrol spread around the grass near the drop zone.

Cue a few people thinking it would be a good idea to stamp the fire out. Now their trainers are on fire too.

I wasn't much use as I was maniacally laughing by now.
(Fri 4th Nov 2005, 14:13, More)

» Fire!

Shampoo and side burns
I also came up with a cracking idea. Put petrol into a shampoo bottle (washing up bottles are good too) and draw pretty patterns on the grass before joing them to the fire.

This was great until one of my trails went over one of the 'hard kid's trainers.

oops, run away.

Aerosol cans on fires are fun too.

I'm surprised we all still have our limbs.
(Fri 4th Nov 2005, 14:17, More)