b3ta.com user TuxPixie the linux fairy
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» When animals attack...

Another seagull story
had gone to morecambe to a punk festival one year.. something got messed up and me and my friend were left with nowhere to sleep for the night.. never mind, we thought, its a warm night, we had sleeping bags and found some crustypunks crashing in an alleyway, so we joined them.. about 6am i awoke with a seagull sat on my chest. I never realised those things were so big! and its huge pointy beak... looking hungrily at me! honestly I was so scared.. i couldnt move. i nervously kicked my friend who was sleeping next to me.. zoe: 'what, i was asleep' me: 'theres a fucking huge bird on my chest'. helpfully she replied 'lucky you' and proceeded to roll over and go back to sleep.. at which point the aformentioned 'huge bird' flew away, phew

no apologies.. ever
(Mon 6th Jun 2005, 8:57, More)

» When animals attack...

stupid cat
i had borrowed my gf's bike for work one day.. and my last drop-off of the day was a friend who was quite partial to a smoke.. so im riding home, stoned out of my box.. riding on the pavement cos i didnt have a light, was stoned and the traffic was a bit nasty.. and a cat runs straight in front of the bike, i swerved and went straight into a wall. completely buckling the front wheel. i hit the wall so hard i went straight over it, leaving me sat on me arse on the other side of the wall with a confused looking old woman staring at me through her window.

gf goes nuts (shes now my ex, im not sure how much this had to with it) and it cost me £25 to repair the bike. wish id hit the stupid cat now.

again. no apologies
(Mon 6th Jun 2005, 9:13, More)

» Claims to Fame

cock-buzzer
I was once chatted up in a camden club by pete shelley of brit-punks the buzzcocks
(Sun 27th Feb 2005, 18:05, More)