b3ta.com user Fishbowler
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» Heckles

Another pub quiz one....
Not me, but a couple of mates went into a bar in Abergavenny this one time. No idea why. As they were walking they heard:

"And first prize: A weekend away in Skegness"

to which one of the two pipes up:

"What's second prize? Siz months inside?"

Still makes me chuckle....
(Wed 12th Apr 2006, 13:34, More)

» School fights

Another "not me, but..."
Was sat in a french lesson back when I was 12, minding my own business, trying to remember the word for keys. At first I heard someone disturb the silence. Then do it again, louder. The teacher shouted, but, as always, she was innefectual. Moments later, they shoving each other, and the teacher, by random chance, sends *me* to learning support for extra staff to help deal with the fight.

Yeah, it was that kind of school - had a room dedicated to staff on hand to break up fights. Brislington Comprehensive in bristol - not recommended.

Back to the story - I disappear, go get two scrawny language assistant ladies (who, once I was older, realised were actually jolly pretty) and return to find the room silent, without teacher and without the two combatants. I sit down, and the two pretty ladies saunter off. I find out from the guy sat next to me that the inneffectual french teacher had tried to break up the fight... just as it was coming to actual blows. Yeah. She took one in the eye. She ran out of the room crying and went straight to the nearest office. The office of Mr Matthews. 6'8'' ex-army maths teacher (takes all sorts, doesn't it?). He walks in, says not a word. picks one figher up with one arm and throws him, out the door. Then repeats the process. I leave the classroom to see the french teacher getting intimate with a bag of peas, and a ginger combatant pinned against the wall by his elbows getting a military-style telling off at 3 inches distant.

Made me chuckle.

Apologies for length. And tangents. And other geometry.
(Sat 11th Mar 2006, 22:31, More)