b3ta.com user Pleiades
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» Best Graffiti Ever

Annandale Again
Years ago (late 90's),in the boys toilets at the Annandale Hotel, someone had written:

Homosexuals are a higher lifeform.

To which someone else added:

Oh yeah? Lets see them reproduce.
(Sun 6th May 2007, 5:04, More)

» Hidden Treasure

Ooh, another.
Could be urban myth, but I'm told it's true. Also not strictly treasure as such, but...

Some bloke buys deceased estate, formally owned by an old woman. Decor was vile, lounge room wallpaper taking the cake. He decided it had to go, so proceeded to peel it off, all the while wondering how anyone could have picked this revolting covering for their unfortunate walls.

So, he is peeling off the last strip of wallpaper, and finds scrawled in chalk underneath it the following message from the fellow who had put it up:

Fucking awful, isn't it?

A moment to treasure, surely?
(Fri 1st Jul 2005, 17:00, More)

» Stupid Tourists

I was working in a pub here in Melbourne, overheard story being told about a seppo (Septic Tank = Yank) complaining in a cafe in Rome.

"I can't fricken believe it! We're in the middle of Rome, and I can't get a fricken Caesar Salad!".


Another related to me: A mate was in Paris, goes into cafe for breakfast, makes attempt to order in (terrible) French, waiter asks, in English, what he wants. Five minutes later, seppo walks in, orders coffee and croissant in English, no attempt at French. Same waiter looks at him blankly, says "Pardon? Parlez vous Franglais?". A short back and forth of "Coffee, croissant" and "Parlez vous" ensues, until Yank walks out in disgust.

My mate is paying and asks, "Why did you speak to me in English, but no that other bloke?". Waiter replies, "You at least tried".
(Sat 9th Jul 2005, 5:35, More)

» Pure Ignorance

More American Shennanigans
A bloke I was talking to in a pub in Melbourne overheard an American tourist spout this gem is Rome:

I can't fricken believe it. I'm in the middle of Rome and I can't get a fricken Caesar Salad!

Woo! First post, etc.
(Wed 12th Jan 2005, 2:33, More)

» Heckles

From The Dim, Dark 80's
Went to see Pop Will Eat Itself at a venue in northern Sydney. One of teh friends I went with was into some fairly obscure alternative Australian music, and one band (Thug, one of Tex Perkins first bands) had a song called "Fuck Your Dad". My mate Thom, in the euphoria surrounding the gig, yells out from down near the front "Fuck yer dad!". Clint replies, "Fax my dad?".

This would have passed into obscurity had not another mate who was present at that gig was been reading one of teh English music mags (praps NME). In it there was a PWEI tour diary, and on the day for that Sydney gig was the entry:

"Faxed my dad, wished him happy birthday".

Only got to tell Thom the story a few months ago, he was well chuffed.
(Tue 11th Apr 2006, 3:14, More)
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