» The last thing that made me cry

sobs
i cried my eyes out when my wife ran away with my best mate........




i really miss him.
(Tue 19th Apr 2005, 15:14, More)

» Mugged

finsbury park
some shit cunt tried to have me up for my dosh right outside the station.

i pulled my cock out and started wanking it and pulling faces like when you have a shit.

he fucked off pretty sharpish.
(Wed 21st Jun 2006, 19:33, More)

» Losing Your Virginity

go round the back....
my first girl (bless) would only allow me to fuck her in the shitter. she was dead scared of getting preggerz.

she became obsessed with her anal orofice.
it became too much and i resorted to inserting all manner of household objects into her rectum.

the favourite was the handle of a tefal non stick frying pan which she kept under her bed, along with a giant jar of vas.

it didnt last.
(Thu 10th Mar 2005, 15:12, More)

» Little things that turn you on

sinks
i love pissing in sinks
kitchen sinks
bathroom sinks
any sinks.

i havent pissed into a toilet for years
i lost my last girlfriend because of this
and ill probably lose my current one when she finds out!
(Fri 18th Feb 2005, 9:49, More)

» Essential Items

always carry
at least 50 crack rocks pre- packaged in little bits of blue plastic , 5000 notes in cash, a knife, a gun and a spiked bat in a black nike bag.

*come to think of it so do most of the people who live in my neighbourhood.
(Sun 30th Oct 2005, 17:39, More)