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- a member for 19 years, 3 months and 5 days
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» When animals attack...
it all went dark
When I was a wee little nipper (about 5?) my gran had a rottweiler called Ben.
He was a huge evil bugger who had twice had to be stitched back up after jumping through plate glass windows to get at the postie and once bit another dogs ear off. Seriously, he was huge. My grandad was a butcher and fed him well.
Fortunately he loved me.
I used to ride about on his back and play with him all the time.
Anyway, there I am, in the hallway. Just me and Ben. I was lying on my back and stroking him, ben sitting just to my left. Then Ben slowly stands, shifts slightly, then sits back down again. ON MY FACE!!!!!!!
I can still vividly remember the warm, hairy, suffocating darkness. I was pinned in place by my head. I couldn't scream or breathe, my body bucking up and down, my mouth and nose buried deep in canine knackers.
I don't know whether it was my writhing or just good luck but he finally stood back up again and I lived to tell the tail(sic).
(Fri 3rd Jun 2005, 16:16, More)
it all went dark
When I was a wee little nipper (about 5?) my gran had a rottweiler called Ben.
He was a huge evil bugger who had twice had to be stitched back up after jumping through plate glass windows to get at the postie and once bit another dogs ear off. Seriously, he was huge. My grandad was a butcher and fed him well.
Fortunately he loved me.
I used to ride about on his back and play with him all the time.
Anyway, there I am, in the hallway. Just me and Ben. I was lying on my back and stroking him, ben sitting just to my left. Then Ben slowly stands, shifts slightly, then sits back down again. ON MY FACE!!!!!!!
I can still vividly remember the warm, hairy, suffocating darkness. I was pinned in place by my head. I couldn't scream or breathe, my body bucking up and down, my mouth and nose buried deep in canine knackers.
I don't know whether it was my writhing or just good luck but he finally stood back up again and I lived to tell the tail(sic).
(Fri 3rd Jun 2005, 16:16, More)
» Useless Information
dragonfly nymphs
the dragonfly nymph is permanently boz-eyed. Its eyes are focused at a point about 20mm directly in front of it. The rest of the world is a blur. However when a tasty beastie appears in focus it is at lethal range of the nymphs harpoon-like mouth parts.
(Wed 23rd Mar 2005, 16:52, More)
dragonfly nymphs
the dragonfly nymph is permanently boz-eyed. Its eyes are focused at a point about 20mm directly in front of it. The rest of the world is a blur. However when a tasty beastie appears in focus it is at lethal range of the nymphs harpoon-like mouth parts.
(Wed 23rd Mar 2005, 16:52, More)
» Claims to Fame
Winner stays on?
In a certain well known house of ill repute in Leeds (now moved location but still open for service) I was the pool king. I took on and beat a succession of scantily dressed young ladies.
Didn't loose a single game.
*Chest swells with pride*
(Tue 1st Mar 2005, 16:05, More)
Winner stays on?
In a certain well known house of ill repute in Leeds (now moved location but still open for service) I was the pool king. I took on and beat a succession of scantily dressed young ladies.
Didn't loose a single game.
*Chest swells with pride*
(Tue 1st Mar 2005, 16:05, More)
» I just don't get it
why my house mate won't admit
he's mostly gypsy
funty - maybe he uses it to block the crack in his door?
(Tue 5th Apr 2005, 16:35, More)
why my house mate won't admit
he's mostly gypsy
funty - maybe he uses it to block the crack in his door?
(Tue 5th Apr 2005, 16:35, More)
» Walkman Flashbacks
I should be so lucky - Kylie
Rather disturbingly this song always brings back the smell and only the smell of a public toilet in a service station on the m6 when I was travelling back from a school trip to a brazil vs england schoolboys football match at wembley in about 1987.
It smelt rather lemony like those little yellow blocks.
(Thu 24th Mar 2005, 13:58, More)
I should be so lucky - Kylie
Rather disturbingly this song always brings back the smell and only the smell of a public toilet in a service station on the m6 when I was travelling back from a school trip to a brazil vs england schoolboys football match at wembley in about 1987.
It smelt rather lemony like those little yellow blocks.
(Thu 24th Mar 2005, 13:58, More)