Profile for Smumps:
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- a member for 19 years, 3 months and 2 days
- has posted 2 messages on the main board
- has posted 0 messages on the talk board
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- has posted 36 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
- They liked 0 pictures, 0 links, 0 talk posts, and 1 qotw answers.
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» I was drunk when I bought this
Penguin
Didn`t exactly buy a penguin, more broke into the local zoo and nicked it with some equally pissed mates.
It was quite a small one we put it in a rucksack.
We put it in the bath at my house and we were all so pleased with ourselves.... Ahh the lovely penguin isn`t it so cute isn`t everyone going to be so envyous that we have a penguin!!
Then we sobered up!!! What the fluck are we gonna do with a penguin and all the penguin shit in my bath.
So we took it to the park, put it in the pond and phoned the police and said we`d found a penguin in the park!!
It made the local paper!!
(Fri 10th Jun 2005, 22:05, More)
Penguin
Didn`t exactly buy a penguin, more broke into the local zoo and nicked it with some equally pissed mates.
It was quite a small one we put it in a rucksack.
We put it in the bath at my house and we were all so pleased with ourselves.... Ahh the lovely penguin isn`t it so cute isn`t everyone going to be so envyous that we have a penguin!!
Then we sobered up!!! What the fluck are we gonna do with a penguin and all the penguin shit in my bath.
So we took it to the park, put it in the pond and phoned the police and said we`d found a penguin in the park!!
It made the local paper!!
(Fri 10th Jun 2005, 22:05, More)
» Petty Sabotage
Teddy Suicide
Had a girlie girl lodger and she had loads of soft toys (euuggghh!!) so made nooses for all of them. She came home to find them all hanging in her room, then cried, then moved out.......tee hee
(Wed 4th May 2005, 20:58, More)
Teddy Suicide
Had a girlie girl lodger and she had loads of soft toys (euuggghh!!) so made nooses for all of them. She came home to find them all hanging in her room, then cried, then moved out.......tee hee
(Wed 4th May 2005, 20:58, More)
» Petty Sabotage
Bread
Pushed a teaspoon all the way into the middle of an uncut loaf of bread at a friends, quite a feat in itself!! tee hee
(Wed 4th May 2005, 20:55, More)
Bread
Pushed a teaspoon all the way into the middle of an uncut loaf of bread at a friends, quite a feat in itself!! tee hee
(Wed 4th May 2005, 20:55, More)
» Public Transport Trauma
Tube Perv
About 15 years ago I was on the tube coming home from work and on a packed tube I sat down next to a man in a suit who was busy with something in his briefcase that was open on his lap. Its probably worth saying that I was wearing a mid thigh length skirt. After about 5 minutes I felt something warm and sticky on my leg and to my disgust saw that the man sitting next to me had just ejaculated on my leg.
(Fri 30th May 2008, 11:50, More)
Tube Perv
About 15 years ago I was on the tube coming home from work and on a packed tube I sat down next to a man in a suit who was busy with something in his briefcase that was open on his lap. Its probably worth saying that I was wearing a mid thigh length skirt. After about 5 minutes I felt something warm and sticky on my leg and to my disgust saw that the man sitting next to me had just ejaculated on my leg.
(Fri 30th May 2008, 11:50, More)
» Now, there was no need for that...
Pregnant
Being pregnant suffering terrible morning afternoon and every fcuking time I eat sickness. Running to the toilet banging my toe on a chair leg on the way throwing up coming out of the toilet banging same toe on same chair leg breaking toe and throwing up again.
Also had sickness for the whole nine months and everytime I brushed my teeth it made me sick..... wake up, brush teeth, sick, brush teeth sick, brush teeth, sick........
(Thu 16th Jun 2005, 22:41, More)
Pregnant
Being pregnant suffering terrible morning afternoon and every fcuking time I eat sickness. Running to the toilet banging my toe on a chair leg on the way throwing up coming out of the toilet banging same toe on same chair leg breaking toe and throwing up again.
Also had sickness for the whole nine months and everytime I brushed my teeth it made me sick..... wake up, brush teeth, sick, brush teeth sick, brush teeth, sick........
(Thu 16th Jun 2005, 22:41, More)