b3ta.com user bovine intervention
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Oft lurker, occasional poster.

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» Putting the Fun in Funeral

Barbie and Ken
When my grandma died, we were not quite sure how many people would come to the funeral and how many would come to the house after. So my uncle (her son) went out to get some extra plates and cups and stuff.
He came back with disposable (paper) cups and plates....

Oh yeah, Barbie and Ken, the Little Mermaid.

It was like a scene from a Fellini movie.
Double breasted suits and hats, and a colourful table filled with fairytale characters.
bye grandma
(Wed 17th May 2006, 18:00, More)

» Crap meals out

food good - music bad
For a friends birthday we went to a tapa's reataurant and the food was really good (except for the friend eggplant with honey, which was divine).

However they had live music.
It was two women dressed in black singning very angery spanish songs. I dont really know what they sang (no habla) but it just sounded like a musical bitchfest. The whole restaurant went silent and people shuffeld in their seats uncomfortably.

I'm guessing in a different context the music would have been ok, but try to eat while being stared down by two spanish ladies musically blaming you for everything ...

It was worse then the one time i went out with my parents and and a woman dressed in black played keyboard and sang Elvis songs Jazz style.
(Fri 28th Apr 2006, 15:54, More)

» Pretentious bollocks

"the problem of the 20th-century monochrome surface."
OK here comes:
This guy went to the "Stedelijk Museum" in Amsterdam and slashed up a painting of a red surface with two thin strips of blue and yellow. The painting is called "Who's Afraid of Red, Yellow and Blue".
He did this in protest to museum policy of displaying only abstract art and was sentenced to 8 months in prison.
Then the museum paid another guy to fix this painting of a large, mostly red surface. And this other guy fixed it, supposedly using house paint and a roller and charging some rediculous amount of money for his professional services.
Then, the museum refused to pay him on the grounds that a large monochrome surface should not be painted with a roller...

Question: Who is the most pretentious?
a) the painter painting a large piece of cloth red and calling it art
b) the museum, displaying a large piece of red cloth
c) the guy that wants a small fortune for painting a piece of cloth with a roller

(or d) the guy who voices his opinions by slashing up paintings - he did it again with a mostly blue painting from the same 'artist')
(Tue 4th Oct 2005, 17:16, More)

» Useless Information

chicken and rabbits
fall asleep if you gently turn them upside down.

also, snakes have no kidneys
(Wed 23rd Mar 2005, 10:22, More)

» Amazing displays of ignorance

A friend of mine graded student exams
So there was this student who solved a math question correctly, ie the multiplication of two negative numbers yields a positive number. But the strange thing was, next to the calculation they had written: "bubble negative". It wasn't a misread or a misspell either, it came up in another question and there is was again: "BUBBLE negative"
(Sat 20th Mar 2010, 21:28, More)
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