b3ta.com user kitten nest
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» Teenage Parties

we had 60 quid to spend on weed
unfortunately we couldn't get any as the dealers tended not to bother with us small fry. so we spent the lot on whisky. ah the madness that ensued...

one maniacal youngster locked himself in the toilet, ripped the toilet roll holder from the wall, the toilet seat from the toilet, the sink off its stand and jumped out of the window, leaving the room locked from the inside.

another young lad vomited up a cigarrette butt, then passed out and soiled himself. for some reason his shitty pants were left on top of the host's parents' car, who found them, as well as the desecrated lavatory, on their return the next day
(Fri 14th Apr 2006, 18:01, More)

» Hidden Treasure

not hidden well enough
have just left uni and am staying at my mum's bloke's house until the new one is refurbished. it took me less than ten minutes to find his stash of booze after they'd gone to bed. i'm going to drink it now.
(Fri 1st Jul 2005, 0:22, More)

» When animals attack...

being teenage raskals living in a sleepy town in the north of england, we were often bored and sought adventure where we probably shouldn't have. one night we got tanked up on cheap cider and found ourselves in a field of cows. at some point they decided that they'd had enough of our unwelcome foray into their peaceful habitat, and charged at us. we ran for our lives, leaving the cows behind. it seems we left the gate open, because the next day the centre of town was full of the aforesaid beasts. i don't think they actually attacked anyone else, but the townsfolk were fairly baffled, and the local newspaper put it on the front page.
(Tue 7th Jun 2005, 1:18, More)

» Your Weirdest Teacher

one of my tutors at uni
told us that when he was a child he used think he was jesus, and looked at us in disbelief when none of us claimed to share this delusion.
he also admitted to having eaten his own flesh. he said it tasted of pork
(Mon 14th Nov 2005, 14:01, More)

» How I Skive Off Work

very lazy
when i was 14 i was a bit of a tearaway, and liked nothing better than to have a nice smoke with my friends. i often had a sore throat and was so lethargic that my mother took me to the doctor and they tested me for glandular fever. the test came back negative, but i told my school that i had it. i missed every games lesson for the rest of my school career.
(Thu 28th Apr 2005, 20:18, More)
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