» Bad Smells

Team Unbuilding
Way, way back, when there was more money and everyone was doing it, I was sent on a work retreat for Team Building. Now, this retreat was at a really swank resorty place, that had unlimited cheesey, fatty, delicious foods. Having gorged on a huge double-decker cheese and mushroom omelette for breakfast, I found myself in a Team Building activity that involved passing team members through some sort of cargo net to the other side. I volunteered to go first, which would involve my being strong enough to dive through the net hole (without touching it, I believe), place my hands on the ground opposite, and have two other team members pass my legs through, all wheelbarrowlike. Well, I dove through, planted my hands on the ground, and as my team members grabbed onto my legs, out came the foulest eggy cheesey stink ever from my nether regions. All the team had gathered around at that point, and everyone got it fair in the face. Because it was Team Building, however, no one could say anything or do anything but hold their breath and continue with the activity. Mortified, I was!
(Fri 17th Jan 2014, 18:17, More)

» Bad Smells

Baby Poo Demons
When our daughter was just over a year old, my husband and I took her, his ancient grandparents, and mother out for a nice Chinese meal. Batty old great-gran decided that somewhat iffy scallops in brown sauce was suitable food for a tiny tot, and proceeded to pop them into her mouth when we weren't looking. The child began to cry about half an hour later, and we made our excuses and drove home (an hour's drive from the restaurant). In the meantime she had passed said iffy scallops. And passed more when we got home. And more after that. Needless to say, it was if the gates of hell had opened a day-old seafood restaurant in our small apartment. We opened every window, despite it being the middle of December, and still could hardly breathe. Poor child eventually just passed out from exhaustion.
(Fri 17th Jan 2014, 18:27, More)