» Stalked

It seemed clever at the time
I had a real nut-case stalking me for a good six months a couple of years ago. She would 'accidentally' bump into me while I was out with friends, managed to get the phone numbers of those close to me and harangue them, invited herself over to family dinners and of course rang and messaged me daily for months and months. Eventually I thought the only way to really shake her was to die. So I made an even more concerted effort to stay away from her for a couple of weeks, then got some friends to send her distraught messages, and even took out obituaries in the two main Melbourne newspapers.

Bad move - the outpouring of grief was immense. My parents were flooded with flowers for three weeks, two local chaplains offered their services for funerals, long lost friends came out of the woodwork, ex-girlfriends tried calling home in tears - the whole shebang. All the while, I'm sat at home, quite alive, trying to figure out how to fix all of this.

These days there are still people who won't talk to me because of what I did. The worst thing is I don't think the stalker even realized - she still pops up occasionally, and is still just as scary as back then.
(Sat 2nd Feb 2008, 0:59, More)

» Sacked

last pub job i held
I'm an aussie, and while traversing the globe a couple of years ago landed a job pulling pints in London to stave of hunger and homelessness.

The last shift I did was from midday on a Saturday after a rather huge night on the turps. I turned up a little worse for wear, and spent most of the shift hiding from the boss, vomiting into a corner in the cellar where all the kegs were kept. About 3 spews later the boss caught me, and told me to go home and get sorted out before coming back. On the way out I munted for the fourth time, but rather publicly onto some poor punter who was enjoying a beer out the front. I went home a couple of months later, but never set foot in that pub, or any other within a 3 mile radius again.
(Sun 26th Feb 2006, 0:14, More)