b3ta.com user Radebe
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» IT Support

One from my dad
He used to work in an office with the usual nominated non-IT-support IT support bod, John Scott.

Scene, machine goes bandy, JS on site to see what's up, User fecks off, Post-it on the screen,

Computer broken,
Scottie's gone for more Dilithium Crystals
(Wed 30th Sep 2009, 16:40, More)

» Complaining

Dodgy tray table bags a grand
Flew down under at christmas to check out what Perth is like (been looking to move for a while). On the flight out the tray table was either constantly down or falling down.

Despite the best attempts of using multiple inflight magazines to act as a temporary prop it did stay up, until a gnats breath of turbulence caused it to fall again.

"make sure your tray tables are stowed in their upright position" easier said than done!

As well as this, being a relatively lanky streak at 6'2", using the extendible headrest is useful to catch a bit of sleep, So in preparation i slid the headrest up only for it not to stop where it should have, and come clean off the runners, and nearly into the lap of the passenger behind.

So as soon as we land and get in range of a web connection we fire off details of the above.

No response for a month, so we chase up.

No response for 2 months, so we chase up again.

Repeat until about a month ago when we get a basic letter back stating that they are investigating. Send back email thanking them and when they would be able to comment further.

Nothing again until last week when at 11pm we receive a call from the director of customer relations apologising and authorising a voucher for $1000 AUD.

$1000/Half a dozen emails = not a bad return for a bit of finger tapping.

I can only guess that not being able to stop the table was some sort of CAA issue and would interfere with the brace position or some such rule, mind you if the plane was going down then a dodgy tray table would be the least of my worries.

This is the most recent, others so far this year have been, staple in my cookie netted 20 notes of vouchers, piece of brillo pad in my lamb shank, was rewarded with my meal being free (the most expensive of the evening) plus 2 rounds of drinks (5 people in the group), and contacting the board members of BT to complain their company had ballsed up a phone number move for a restaurant client of mine leaving them with no working line on Mothers Day after explicitly stating no work to be carried out before that weekend, 2 hours later and numerous calls to and from executive office issue all resolved, and free pizzas from the restaurant in question.

None of the above involved and colourful language but when another client of mine started receiving the "Your computer has got a virus, i am from Microsoft...." cold calls I had a store of choice words stored up and took great joy and delight in using them to their fullest effect in telling the operative on the other end of the line exactly what he can do with his error reports. It made me smile thinking that this guys headset must have been smoldering with vitriolic rage after that tirade!
(Sat 4th Sep 2010, 18:06, More)

» Amazing displays of ignorance

On a canal holiday
We took time out to enjoy the delights of a curry in Wolverhampton, our walk took us past a dealership of an iconic ex-british (aren't they all) luxury and sports car manufacturer.

One our party commented "What's that on the bonnet of that car? is it a panther?"
(Mon 22nd Mar 2010, 12:31, More)

» IT Support

How i (almost) managed to bring a department to it's knees
The department in question was the network infrastructure support and implementation for a rather large international communications corporation, like HAL is to IBM, BU&U is to this outfit.

My chosed method of wreaking havoc, Spaced Penguin, the adventures of Zidgel, Midgel, Tidgel and Kevin, www.bigideafun.com/penguins/arcade/spaced_penguin/

It has been known to start one level in the right pixel and the level run overnight, with monsterous bonus score!
(Thu 1st Oct 2009, 10:52, More)

» Celebrities part II

Big Man, Small Car and other local heroes
Clive Mantle (Casualty consultant and Dawn French's early doors fancy piece in The Vicar of Dibley) must be top end 6 footer folded not ever so neatley in a white Lada riva pulling out of a junction outside of Bristol and Bath, so no so much met but waved him out as I was waiting at the other side, had the courtesy to nod in appreciation, thought he would have been able to afford sommat better, so more sympathy than general road politeness.

Graham Purches, of HTV news and BBC News fame at a petrol station opposite HTV studios, was pretty up himself, so made sure to do a short fill and cut in front of him in the queue, that'll learn 'im.

Tony Target, BBC Bristol et environs weatherman, in 21 Corn Street (It's a bar) on NYE 2001, was in for a pre-forecast loosener, dressed in tweed suit, leather elbow patches, and trousers that were too short, white socks and either plimsoles or dunlop green flashes. Didn't think of saying anything as he seemed to be embarrassing himself quite well as it was.

Not me though but in The Academy (Club next to the ice rink on frogmore st as it was then)at Massive Attack's Christmas Party my mate came out of the bogs gurning like a fool to annouce "I've just had a piss next to Daddy G", and then closely followed by him waiting after opening a door for someone to come through before traversing himself only to be ingnored by the premiere portal utiliser, stating loudly as he fella went by "Thank you!!" in a necessarily sarcastic manner, only to realise then it was Rob Del Naja or 3D, really ingratiated himself by insulting 1/3rd of the band and nearly doing a white wee next to another 1/3rd!
(Wed 14th Oct 2009, 10:45, More)
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