» How I Skive Off Work

Standing on a bee is still an excuse.
It's not exactly skiving as in I was slacking off. More like not turning up at all.

I used to work in Woolworths. Because I’m a bum who prefers to live off her parents, it was my first job. To be quite honest, I hated it. I took every opportunity to skive off, so much that I ran out of excuses. I once took a whole week off because I said I had appendicitis and nearly died, which was slightly true. I did when I was about 12 years old...and I didn't nearly die. Another time I said I stood on a bee, in the middle of Winter and had to stay off for a week. That was true…although it could have been a piece of glass…and it only hurt for 2 days.

If I couldn’t actually stay at home, I would go down to the stock bay, make a small bed with the many pillows or bedding packs and look at all the nice things down there. I was so tempted to make a den, take some chocolate and live down there till after they shut the store down.

I took time off at all the wrong times too. The week before Christmas in Woolies is possibly the busiest all year and I took it off. I felt really guilty, imagining all the other employees rushing round the shop in order to get my part done…then I remembered they were all horrible to me, so I laughed it off.

I resigned before I could be fired which was lucky, because I would have hated to see my review.

I have to cross Woolworths whenever I go into town. It feels terrible and I always get this pang of guilt, then I remember I never gave the uniform back and begin to smile.

Me: 1 - Woolworths: Nil.
(Wed 27th Apr 2005, 20:56, More)