» Spoooky Coincidence

Back when I was but 16...
...I took my ACT tests at a local high school (I didn't go there because I was homeschooled). It was a Saturday in April, and the place was really really full. Students from all over were taking the test, so they had all the classrooms full. I was walking to the one I was supposed to be in, and I overhear a girl about my age saying, "Yeah, I stayed at my boyfriend's house last night 'cause we were out so late. I'm wearing his clothes today, actually." I walked away thinking, "Wow, just a bit trashy, there."

Fast forward to August of the same year. I'm working at the local hospital, making trays of food for patients. One of the girls that works there and I get to talking about tests. She mentions that she didn't like her ACT scores. I say, "Yeah, there was some chick in the hallway when I was going to take mine talking about how she'd stayed at her boyfriend's the night before, and had been out partying all that night. I'll bet her score was worse than yours!"

She gets very quiet, then asks me where I had taken the test, and when.

Turns out it was her. >_<
(Fri 9th Feb 2007, 20:48, More)

» Not Losing Your Virginity

More times than I can tell...
Me: 21 years old, female, engaged to:
Fiance: 21 years old, male.

Both: virgin

Wedding date: Summer 2007

We've been going out for three years. The chances we've had to lose our virginity are too many to mention. But we've stuck them out, and will continue to do so until we're married. Sure, it's hard, but I for one prefer to be in control of my sexuality, and not vice-versa. And imagine the wedding night!
(Fri 27th Oct 2006, 19:11, More)

» I hurt my rude bits

"Sit like a froggy..."
When I was little I was getting all sorts of bladder infections and had trouble holding my wee for any length of time. Mom took me to doctors to find the trouble, and finally one wanted to do an ultrasound and some other sort of scan to see what the deal was.

I was about five years old at the time. I still remember this clearly. I was dressed in a hospital gown with no panties, on my back, on a cold table. One nurse lady was being very nice to me, telling me what they were going to do ("We'll take a picture of your insides! It won't hurt, I promise."). She said first they needed to see if I could sit like a froggy would, with my legs apart and bent. I did so, thinking in my five-year-old mind how proud she would be of me for imitating a froggy so well.

Next thing I know there's this awful burning, stinging sensation in my nethers. I screamed and tried to push it away, but the "nice" lady held my arms down. No one told me they would have to give me a catheter for a simple scan. Biotch.

Turns out I had a shortened urethra, which I grew into. Or it grew into me. Or whatever. But it still hurt like freck.
(Thu 20th Jul 2006, 20:51, More)

» Stuff I've found

I consider myself an expert...
As an extremely broke college student, and even now as an extremely broke college dropout, I discovered the joys of dumpster diving in the smaller cities outside of St. Louis, MO. The things people throw away are shocking, if you know where to look. Some of my best finds include:

-Three computer chairs, one a leather executive style with naught but a small rip on the seat.
-A fine, burnt orange upholstered chair with one wonky leg (electrical tape fixed it right up).
-Five coffee/end tables (and counting...these are popular).
-A bar stool.
-A dozen yellow plastic ducks of normal size, and four that are quadruple the size of their brethren.
-An enormous, finely detailed dragon head mask made of latex (sadly ripped down the snout; it makes a good wall hanging though).
-A blonde curly wig.
-Last, and perhaps most oddly, a suitcase-style box with an "ACME Gas Mask" label, excellent condition. Sadly, no gas mask is inside.

Of course, I am one of those odd people who will also dumpster dive for food, and then eat it. My best edible finds include two industrial sized trash bags full of cereal, fifteen pounds of potatoes still in bags in one night, a case of salsa with only one jar busted, two cases of jarred chopped garlic, fifteen bags of baby spinach still in date, and enough cough drops of various brands and flavors to last me through twelve winters.
(Fri 7th Nov 2008, 4:00, More)

» Have you ever seen a dead body?

Too many to count...
I've worked at a pet store for the last three years. It is probably safe to say I've seen at least one dead animal for every day I've worked there. But there are some that have stuck with me:

-The baby corn snake that died underneath his fake tree with his mouth frozen wide open. Gave me quite a shock when I lifted up his cover only to see him (presumably) ready to bite my finger off. I moved him with my pen rather than touch him.

-The dwarf hamster who had his face ripped off down to his skull by a tankmate. He wasn't quite dead when I discovered him.

-The red-eared slider (water turtle) who had managed to crawl into a tiny gap in his fake log, but was unable to get out, and had died quite some time ago. He fell apart completely when we touched him, and I had to use a siphon to get his meat and bones out of the tank. I distinctly remember one complete foot waving in the current...

-The mouse with a prolapsed rectum.

-The veiled chameleon who was killed by a milksnake in a neighboring habitat who had found a way in. He was too big for the snake to eat, though he'd tried really hard.

-The half-digested remains of two baby mice, vomited out by two ball pythons during shipping.

-A hermit crab, first thought to be alive as we saw some movement in the shell. Turned out to be maggots. Had to sit down after that one.

-A parakeet that had gotten his leg caught between the cage bars and his bolted-on food dish and had wrung his own neck trying frantically to escape.

-The leopard gecko whose habitat had the unfortunate malfunction of the heat lamp falling onto it instead of being suspended over it, meaning he literally cooked to death. He was crispy, like bacon.

The best thing about all these? We don't just throw the bodies away. Oh no. They all get put into a chest freezer in the back room, which is emptied once a week if we're lucky. There's no telling what will be staring back at you when you open the lid.
(Wed 5th Mar 2008, 4:45, More)