» Pure Ignorance

This one was me,
and it happened many years ago. I must have been about 13, and I was over at a mates house. (Lets call him David). David had a phone in his room, and I asked him if I could use it to arrange myself a lift home. He said yes, so I picked up the phone and heard two people talking. Now, I was clearly NOT thinking, because for some reason I assumed that there was some kind of fault and I was listening to a conversation on a crossed line. "Who the fuck is this?" I asked loudly down the phone.

It was at this moment that I realised what I had just done, slammed the phone down in horror, and sat there wanting the world to suck me into a large bottomless black pit.

Needless to say my friend was mortified when his mother burst into the room and dragged him out for a good shouting at/kicking. Nothing was ever said to me, but it took a few weeks for the guilt to wear off.....
(Thu 13th Jan 2005, 15:21, More)

» Irrational Fears

EYES
I have an irrational fear of eye-pain. If someone as much as mentions any form of eye-discomfort, it makes me feel nauseous. I could never, ever wear contact lenses. Push something into my eye?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

I'm wincing, and my eyes are watering from just writing this message! So I'm going to stop elaborating.
(Wed 28th Jan 2004, 15:46, More)

» Misunderstood

Directions
Once, very shortly after having moved house, I was trying to direct a friend to my new place.

He was on foot, about half a mile from me. Close to where he was, there is a Co-Op.

Well, actually there are two co-ops, but one is the foodstore type and the other is the department store type. They are directly opposite each other.

Of course I end up using this as a landmark in my directions, telling my mate to "Stand with your back to the co-op and turn right 90 degrees and walk that way"

Of course I was thinking myself of the brightly coloured and *obvious* food outlet, whereas my friend had latched onto the front of the the drab and infinitely less prominent department store. Which as a result, made him turn in completely the wrong direction.

He ended up miles away. The shouting got quite heated at some points, both of us totally convinced that the other was at fault.

When we finally realised where we had gone wrong, we were creased up laughing for ages.

The "half mile journey" took two hours......
(Tue 11th Oct 2005, 9:37, More)

» Near Death Experiences

Dunno if this counts but what the hell
I once dreamed that I was falling (I get that now and then but only once has the next bit happened so bear with me) and I actually hit the floor. I immediately woke up in agony, I felt as if I had really just hit the floor and my heart was ready to explode. It really fucking hurt. I was doubled up in the foetal position for a good 20 mins and I didn't get back to sleep that night. If my flatmates had been in that night, I am sure they would have taken me to hospital when they heard my screams. I think the only thing that has ever hurt more was when I had a really badly infected abcess on the very rim of my anus. But that's another story.

Anyway I read, months later, that it's possible to die from shock if you get woken up in the manner I described above.

So it could have been close I guess.
(Thu 25th Nov 2004, 13:19, More)

» People with Stupid Names

I met....
....a guy once called Russell Brussell.
(Thu 26th Aug 2004, 16:41, More)