b3ta.com user Fireinzehole
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Wow, a whole box, all to myself. Im honoured. But unfortunately bored, so the box will have to wait until i feel interested/ing.
Sorry box.

please do email me i love you (no mingers) [email protected]

This is the only sit i know more random than b3ta. It is also darker. Go to the cartoons they are truly excellent. Go now. If you wish to live. Oh, and illwillpress.com

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Stupid Tourists

Texas dictionary: wun= one, ma'yam= ma'am, hyave= have, ah = eye, myiddle = middle, uhv = of, haayd = head.
When in America (Oh, God I hear you think), there was a group decision to take a historical tour. From the moment we started we knew we were in for it. This was a tour for Forrest Gump. Anyhu we stuck through, bravely. As we got to a historical monument the kind bimbo directing the tour pointed out the necessaries; 'This here is the admiral [I forget], who only had one eye!' After thhis stirring speech a man at the back stood up and said in a George Dubya accent 'Excuse me ma'yam, but did he hyave thet wun ah in the myiddle uhv his haayd?'
(Sat 9th Jul 2005, 23:02, More)

» Guilty Pleasures

Oh the pleasure!
I do love the simple joy of irrritating tourists, or any random people. I once travelled up to Bath (i live in ESussex) just to ask random people if they liked my shoes or how to get to Canterbury. A lot of them liked my shoes, but NONE knew where Canterbury was.
Understandably my mates think im a bit weird, as i also say hello to strangers in the street as if i know them.
Happy days.
(Thu 7th Apr 2005, 12:25, More)

» The last thing that made me cry

When i last really cried.
Twas when my uncle (he was a legend) lay on his deathbed dying of cancer, and everyone was silent as the grave(yes, i know. ew). I told him the last joke he would ever hear, holding his hand. I wish it had been better:
Q) Why is the Starship Enterprise like loo paper?
A) They both chase Klingons/Cling-ons round Uranus/your anus.
He laughed as well as he could, and i cried like a little girl (which i was).
(Fri 15th Apr 2005, 22:02, More)

» Guilty Pleasures

Is this normal?
Not me but a mate...
Plays airguitar. A lot. And people watch and laugh on webcam. And always seems to injure himself doing this.
Has a bamboo stick which he uses to fight imaginary enemies.
Talks in Elvish.
Eats his toy platypus.

Honestly not me, a friend. Truly.
(Sun 10th Apr 2005, 20:16, More)

» The last thing that made me cry

I swear I'm not emo
but *sniffle* i cried, when.... my cat died, and my gerbil (it was so misunderstood, just like me), and when i couldn't get that top i wanted from Criminal Damage- I mean Oxfam, and when i ran out of eyeliner, and when I caught my (so individual) boyfriend with another girl.... and another boy. And I cry regularly forthe emptiness of our lives, life is futile!! Dashboard Confessional will save us individual people, not you who don't feel your emotions. Oh yeh, and i cried when the goth bitches broke my glasses, so what if they wern't prescription; how could they be so mean, they are causes of such sadness... etc etc *moans on*
(Fri 15th Apr 2005, 21:48, More)
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