b3ta.com user setimret
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Profile for setimret:
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Male, Merkin, 40.



My only lasting contribution to b3ta: Where's my fucking cement you retards?


Here is some stuff I made for /board that I like, even if nobody else did:








I'm really surprised this one didn't go over better:



Great pun, but posted near the end of a really annoying bandwagon:



Based on those "cocaine, The Big Lie" PSAs from the 80s:



Based on an actual converstion I had, and a tribute to the comic genius of Ernie Kovacs:


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Best answers to questions:

» Accidentally Erotic

Preliminary Oral Exams for my PhD
VERY stressful! I studied for months. I was to go before six full professors who would decide if I was good enough to pursue my PhD at an American Tier 1 research university, in a world-renowned entomology department (one of the top 10 in the country).

Because my proposed project dealt with the perception of odors by insects, they wanted to know if I understood the ins and outs of nerve transmission from an odor component.

"Well," I started off, "first, along a nerve axon, you have a polarity difference between the interior and exterior of the axon. As the impulse travels down the axon, ion channels open and the change in polarity propagates the signal." For illustration, I went to the board and drew:




"The signal reaches an area called the 'buton,' which I'll enlarge at the end of the axon for clarity."




"A neurotransmitter is needed for the signal to cross the synapse. This is accomplished by the binding of a neurotransmitter vessicle to the pre-synaptic membrane. The membrane opens and the neurotransmitter molecules flow out into the synapse to be taken up by receptors in the post-synaptic membrane."




Smug, I sat back down and we discussed other things, until my major prof said: "Getting back to the giant penis on the board..."

Six full professors of a major tier 1 research university with one of the top ten entomology departments in the country required several minutes to regain their composure.

B3ta, you'da been proud!
(Fri 3rd Feb 2006, 17:50, More)

» Personal Ads

Match.com
I wanted to use the Kasey Chambers song title (yes, I know!) "If I were you, I would notice me" as my headline.

It cut me off, so hotties all over the area were seeing:

"If I were you, I would not"

Strangely, I didn't get any responses...
(Thu 13th Sep 2007, 20:44, More)

» Lies I told on my CV

I didn't lie. I was just unqualified.
My current job involves termites (termites|setimret, imagine that!). Problem is, I had never seen a termite before I interviewed for the job.

On the interview, they took me out to the woods to show me their field site. I kicked over a piece of wood, and there were all these white bugs crawling around.

I looked nervously at my hosts, and I thought "I'll bet those are termites."

One of them said "Oh, look, there's a soldier running around."

"Ah, yes," I said, "look at him go!"

I had no idea what a soldier termite looked like.

I've been on the job for five years now.
(Thu 6th Jul 2006, 16:22, More)

» In the Army Now - The joy of the Armed Forces

My mom's cousin
was called up for the draft for Vietnam.

They asked him if he ever committed suicide.

He thought it was such a stupid question he said yes.

They didn't take him.
(Fri 24th Mar 2006, 16:00, More)

» Addicted

I guess I'm not much of a sex addict.
At my old university, there was a woman I'd had my eye on for about six months or so, possibly longer. Problem was, despite the combined efforts of her friends and my attention, she was not in the least interested in me as far as I or anyone else could tell.

Finally, one Friday, long after I'd given up and decided that the closest I would get to shagging her was to shag someone who had shagged a guy she'd shagged, she asked me if I wanted to take her to the bar after class. She may have only been using me for my car, but that didn't mean there might not be some "reimbursement" for the favor later.

I jumped at the chance. Here's the next problem, though: I am a solitary drinker, and a hopeless alcoholic (sober for many years now). I hated the bars and never felt comfortable drinking in one. If I drank the way I wanted to I wouldn't be able to drive home, or even walk, for that matter. There was a good chance the bartender would throw me out the back door, a puking pissing mess.

We went to the bar, I sipped a beer while she said hello to some of her friends. Within fifteen minutes, the craving set in and all I could think about was my full and lonely whiskey bottle back in my dorm room. The craving was beyond control, so I found her, said my goodbyes and went home to get drunk.

I traded a night I would never have forgotten for a bottle of whiskey I don't remember. I have few regrets from my drinking days, and this missed opportunity is one of them.
(Fri 19th Dec 2008, 15:04, More)
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