» I don't understand the attraction

I don't get
World of Warcraft - you might as well tattoo VIRGIN on your forehead and save yourself £££'s on the subscription fees

dub step - it's just listening to a nice slice of dub, with someone banging a bit of two by four on the side of a van

Jeremy Kyle - hates the unemployed, anyone with a criminal record, underage single mothers, alcholics, basically anyone that sits around watching ITV on a Wednesday afternoon

vegitarinism - cow tastes good. pig tasts good. panda tastes good

sky diving - 'don't worry about landing the plane mate, I'll just get out here'

Heat magazine - if you fire bombed their head office, Jorden will fade away ino dust, like if she drank from the wrong Holy Grail

Micheal McIntyre - no real jokes, just shout something and skip across the stage like a suger-crazed child coming out to his parents

N-Dubz - somewhere in Essex there's an understaffed Burger King

Harry Potter - just fuck off

that Scottish bloke from the Basingstoke CDG Job Centre course - 'you's ever been to the north? you's don't know how gud you's got it in the south ya pansy'
I'm still signing on, sleeping on a sofa, living on a diet of Tudor Rose and noodles and giving handjobs for my crack fix you smug stuck up git
(Thu 15th Oct 2009, 22:22, More)

» Customers from Hell

I worked in a call centre for a debt collection agency.
Anytime someone told me they 'didn't owe Fitness First any fucking money' I just agreed.
So much easier.
(Mon 8th Sep 2008, 1:28, More)

» Scary Neighbours

Bloody nieghbours
Way back when, while I was living at the other end of my wonderful council estate, we had a small boy living next door. he was one of those lads that needed a good dose of ritailyn with his Coco-puffs, know what I mean? Little bastard kept on throwing stones at our windows and climbing over his garden fence naked. Me and my brothers would have literaly throw his naked arse back over.
i bumped into his sister a year or so ago, didn't realise who she was, exept that she was a pretty fit brunette a few years older then me. She was a bit drunk, asking for twenty pence for the Minstrals machine in the corner of the White Hart. I offer her the coin, and she turns on me shouting her mouth off about how she remembers me when I were a lad and what a little sod I was and stuff... shit me up I tell you....
(I think I've strayed from the piont a little, but be fair, it's nearly 6am....)
(Thu 1st Sep 2005, 5:51, More)

» Professions I Hate

Charity Muggers
I mean, cold callers you can hang up on, these pricks are waiting for you outside Argos... Is it even a real job? Just some middle class wanker, still got their hair braided from that trip to India daddy paid for, think they're saving the world by following you to the cash point JUST FUCK OFF BACK TO CAMBRIDGESHIRE THE LOT OF YOU
(Fri 28th May 2010, 21:03, More)

» Buses

Bus driver closed the door on my arm
just as I was stepping off.
Didn't quite understand what was happening, I may have been a little high... took me a few minutes to struggle free and come to terms with being assulted by public transport.

That was a bad day.
(Sun 28th Jun 2009, 21:39, More)