b3ta.com user schizophrenic_sheep
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» Dumb things you've done

in the eye
a few years ago i was sat in my room by my pc chatting away on msn. Hunger struck me and a snack was in order.
So off i went downstairs in search of something to munch on. While in the kitchen i grab myself a banana and start walking back to my bedroom.
Halfway up the stairs i get an itchy nose, forgetting that i've got a banana in my hand i decide to reach up to scratch my nose.

I poked myself in the eye with the banana.....
(Fri 21st Dec 2007, 17:49, More)

» Puns

Q: What's the difference between oral and anal sex?
Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your whole week.
(Fri 6th Mar 2009, 0:18, More)

» DIY Techno-hacks

Degu got the runs
Disappointed with the available products for pet wheels, i decided to make my own.

I have a few degus and they chew through anything fast. So buying a plastic wheel would not be suitable.

I wanted a metal one but the only one i can find online was looking at the £50 mark.

I made my own using an old HDD bits (such as the reader bearing) and a wilkinson cake time (£7, couldn't find a biscuit tin).

This is what i came up with


Slightly wonky
(Tue 25th Aug 2009, 20:13, More)

» The worst sex I ever had

she was bleeding and didn't know

we discovered it mid act.

we just carried on.

Of course the sheets had to be thrown out. There was even a nice bloody hand print on my bed board afterwards.

At least i know blood doesn't turn me on, but it doesn't turn me off either.

hmm that isn't my worse sex story.

well i don't have a worse one, but i bet i gave one to someone else. I'm just not into guys
(Thu 21st Jun 2007, 19:22, More)

» Addicted

i just can't stop.

I've got terrible eczema, it just won't go away, i trim my nails to the bed, i take or tried anti-histamines, steroid creams, moisturizers, coal tar, marigold oil, e45, doublebase, diprobase,

it's currently spreading, it stings to sweat, itches like hell, looks unsightly, gets worse with stress and hot environments.

Had it all my life, all i want is rid of it, but it keeps coming back with a vengeance.
(Mon 22nd Dec 2008, 19:22, More)
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