» My Greatest Regrets

Dumb kid
I regret being a little bit slow as a kid. My lack of cognitive abilities lead to the untimely demise of both of my pets.

First, Ben, my lovely little hamster. I used to get hours of amusement electrifying his cage and watching him jump. But that didn't kill him. It was my inability to tell the difference between a hazlenut (small) and a conker (large). The greedy little bastard ate the cocker I'd put in his food bowl and suffercated.

Now my gold fish. He was cold, well the water fell cold to me. And kettles...they made water warm...I knew that. I didn't yet know boiling water killed fish.
(Fri 6th Oct 2006, 15:20, More)