» Putting the Fun in Funeral

Reality Bites
I never met a sane or normal gravedigger. Our local guy is a cross between Norman Bates, Santa Claus and a honest to goodness tramp who seldom sobers up. So at the recent funeral of a young girl who was in an accident, some of us local were not surprised when, as they were lowering the coffin, it didn't quite seem to fit. Much sobbing ensued and grim faced funeral directors and male relations tentatively prodded the sides of the grave with shovels and sticks and whatever was about. Until suddenly, through the crowd breaks Norman Claus, the gravedigger. "Stand back" he shouts and ploughs his size 12 wellington onto the coffin which plummets head first into the grave leaving it at a clean 45 degree angle. Despite this huge faux pas, it was me who turned out to be the bad guy when I broke my hole laughing at the surreal sight of a dirty Santa kicking a coffin into the ground.
(Sat 13th May 2006, 12:59, More)

» Stalked

Any Stone
Jennifer Aniston (ex Friends) is a bit of a psycho. I was on holiday in Los Angeles when all of a sudden the mad cow starts following me around the place for at least three hours. I had to throw the handbag I had stolen from her at her head just to get rid of her. Its true what the say, fame turns you mad.
(Thu 31st Jan 2008, 21:15, More)