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This chappy drew this wonderful fish for me

Teh /talk Insomniac Club

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I live in the playground forgrown ups that is Queenstown NZ after running away from the uk

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» Petty Sabotage

While living in halls
An italian flat mate iritated me by his abuse of any lady he saw me with so I shook up all his canned drinks.

Neither big nor clever but very petty and childishly amusing.

First post(woo)
(Wed 4th May 2005, 22:21, More)

» Ignoring Instructions

White spirit
When I was very small, around 20 months old I managed to open a childproof bottle of white spirit before pouring it out into a beaker and drinking it down. No idea why I did that but I gave my parents a bit of a shock.
(Mon 8th May 2006, 15:10, More)

» My computer gave away my secrets

A few years ago
for my sins I was working at currys. I was a regular target of the bosses tirades of management speak and threats to sack me due to my utter refusal to sell extended guarantees. One day I was following up on a customer complaint about something breaking down so I went online to find out some bits for them when some porn pop ups started to appear. Naturally I didn't want anyone looking in the history to think I had been looking at porn at work. So I open up the history file and find that the bosses late night stints at work to catch up on paper work coincided with vast amounts of porn being looked at on his pc. My last two months there were considerably easier then he knew that I knew, as do most of the staff there now.
(Fri 10th Feb 2006, 15:52, More)

» Worst Nicknames Ever

One of my best friends garned the nickname Jizz
One of those names that come from and off hand comment and stick for a while. Infairness to him the reason behind the nickname is quite tame as ninja (as he is now known) used to put vast amounts of gel in his hair. Unfortunately if he ever got caught in the rain the gel would start to run off and form jizz like drops around his hairline.
(Thu 18th May 2006, 17:39, More)

» Teenage Parties

One of my very good friends a chap named ninja held the party to end all parties
It started with about 9 gallons of snake bite and a table covered in varios bottle of spirits and the inevitable everything cocktail. A few high-lights if the night were a pissed nothern bloke with a head covered in blood(from dry bicing it)convincing a riot van of police that everything was fine and we would quieten down, deep friend frozen gateau, two doors with hole in and a third off its hinges, the bath twisted off the wall and on its side, about and inch thick layer of purple vom on the bathroom floor. There were the usual crying girls and fighting guys but without a doubt the high point for me was my friend big hairy Ian, a chap known for his ability to consume vast amounts of alcohol and his bet with the previously mention northerner that he would drink 2, litre bottles of whisky before the night was over. He necked one as he turned up and then procced to drink with everyone else through until about 3ish when he was reminded of his bet. For most of us it was the first time we had seen him any the worse for wear and all the sweeter that he was an idiot drunk. Singing songs to his bottle of whisky and then doing the whisky's voice as it sang back to him. He also broke someones nose by accident when he shoved a frozen gateau in their face but still it was funny because it wasn't me. All that went to it are eager for ninja to host another but thanks to the £2000 damages it is unlikely.
(Sat 15th Apr 2006, 13:56, More)
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