b3ta.com user beach_bum
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» Spoooky Coincidence

What do you say ... I mean really what .... !!!
When I was a young lad of 22, I found myself prefering the older lady ;) (not too old though), any way, one Friday night as usual went to a few bars round town, ended up in dodgy type club (where 'older ladies' go ;), and pulled quite a nice 34 year old ... back to her mates house for a "coffee", and then she let me know after the "coffee" that she was married, I thought ... WTF ... and an affair followed, meeting for illicit "coffee" whenever and where ever we could...

... Affair faded out ...

... about 3 years later ... was out with my old man at his local working mans club, having a few beers, they was a disco going on, wasnt sort of place to go on the pull, however, went into disco bit, and I was drawn to cute 18yr old trying to catch my eye, chat, drink, dance, fumble in carpark, back in for more drink ... usual thing...

With my back to the door, she announced .. "ooh my Mum as just walked in ... come and meet her"

"Sure " .. I said, got up turned around ... and ... well you guessed it ...

Luckily there were no seriud consquences or shouting etc ... the good thing was that she couldnt exactly say anything without putting herself in the S**t, so all I did was not to pursue daughter, and moved away shortly after.
(Fri 9th Feb 2007, 17:02, More)

» Puns

is worried that ...
...the local Shell garage has cloned his details from the UK Sperm Bank....there`s enough wankers in this World as it is!

Pun? Fuck It .. I like it ;)
(Tue 10th Mar 2009, 17:06, More)

» How nerdy are you?

I used to be a Nerd (but I'm alright(ish) now) ...
First computer was good old ZX81 (was about 10/11), what was the first thing I did, read the manual end-to-end, and started writing my own games, never actually getting around to playing them!!!

Progressed to ZX Spectrum, (age around 12/13) swapped this for an Acorn Electron, (friend i swapped with didnt care about value difference, only cared about it having more games),me however,learnt 6502 Assembler .. couldnt afford Zeus Dis-assembler, so wrote my own in BBC Basic!!!

File from said project above, got screwed on fucking C60 tape ....

... discovered alcohol, girls, drugs, rock n rolls ...

never looked back ... until now (approaching 40!!)

THANKS QOTW!! Bastards! ;)

Edit: Just for old times sake I looked up 6502 on the old google and found this ...

ask.metafilter.com/65818/I-want-to-learn-6502-assembly

... date Jun 28th 2007!!!! Somebody get this guy some alcohol!

Edit: For the record, as someone just posted a now deleted message, this is not meant to be a complaining, insulting post, satrical ... yes! and having a laugh at ourselves.
(Mon 10th Mar 2008, 15:58, More)

» Terrible food

Scoobie Doo Style Sandwich!!!
Quite a few years ago now ... me and a mate, just went down the local pub for "a couple" of beers...

A lock-in was instigated, and we didnt get out of the pub till the wee hours.

We got back to my house for a "snack" ... and decided to make a scooby doo style sandwich, you know the one with lots and lots of layers ... so out comes the bread (two loafs)... F**k the butter ... and got everything .. and I mean everything out of the fridge / cupboard, all the sauces/dressings, cheese, beans, biscuits, chocolate, tin of bean-sprouts to name a few ... proceeded to layer one slice of bread with another inserting whatever was at hand, as we were making it I was just pissing my self with laughter, and I inadvertantly "snotted" in the sandwhich (mates one of course! as he didnt notice)

As he started eating it, I was rolling on the floor, and didnt tell him till the next day.

My shit was a funny color that morning!!
(Sat 19th May 2007, 12:39, More)