b3ta.com user kramit
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my cars reg plate reads h4x0r and i have a bumber sticker that says "its a geek thing" - i need to get out of tech support, god help me i need to get out oftech support.

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Best answers to questions:

» Petty Sabotage

fly swatter
You know those electric fly swatters that look sorta like a tennis raquet? (gadget shop ppl, ooooh the flashy lights) neways, my sister got a hold of mine and decided to make little sparks by tossing a 2p piece otop of it. Of course this enevitably broke, cue me getting very pissed off and heading for my tool kit. ripped apart this fly swatter thing and found inside a nice little inverter, gives quite a shock to the system i can tell u. attached old speaker cable to the end terminals and proceded to attach the other ends to the inside of my sisters bedroom door with the live parts hooked up to the doorhandle. Sister gets out of shower, sister goes to bedroom and tries to open door, gets shocked and jumps back, so does it again, and again, and again. Cue me rolling about on the floor pissing myself laughing. (major bollocking from my mom tho, at least she saw the funny side eventually)
(Wed 4th May 2005, 13:36, More)

» Guilty Pleasures

naked
i like to walk around the house naked, it feels so liberating.
(Thu 7th Apr 2005, 9:51, More)

» Lies I told on my CV

My exam results...
state that have an A* at GSCE level IT, when infact i failed it because i couldnt be arsed with the coursework (basicly writing word documents about how to write word documents). The thing is though i now work as a windows UNIX and Linux sys admin for a large company with 200 odd computers under my managemet. If only they knew i was useless with word 97.....
(Fri 7th Jul 2006, 12:56, More)

» School Sports Day

not a sports day just rugby
A few years back when i was at school we were all forced on a friday afternoon to play rugby from 1 till 4, being a grammer school and all there was no option for "pussy football" and the like, twas "propper sports" rugby and cricket and the like. Neways, myself being the not so sporty type and not really understanding why i would want to run around on a cold a muddy field chasing a ball while the bigger lads took great pride in jumping ontop of you, during the entirity of year 11 both myself and good mate at the time promplty fucked off to the pub.

The ensuing dilema of "we would get caught" was esily resolved as the teachers never bothered with a role call and marked everyone present for rugby every damned week. Yet upon returning to the after school social hangout (costa coffee, when you could still smoke in there) no one else would belive that we has been sitting in a nice warm pub with a beer rather than running around freezing our asses off. This was recified the only way we knew how to prove it, by getting totaly trollied midday on a schoolday when everyone else was watching thier arse while taking a shower as the games teachers used to watch you to make shure all the mud was washed off. Yet we both got just that little bit too drunk and ended up falling down some very very steep flights on stairs at the coffe house.


Lengh and girth, Just take it and quit complaining
(Mon 3rd Apr 2006, 11:37, More)

» Unexpected Good Fortune

14 and wanting to get drunk....
It had just been my 14th bday and so had some cash to spare for purchasing liquid refeshment that has the annoying habbit of doing things to your inabitions and sense of judgement that you only seem to find out about the morning after when your brain feels like it has been replaced by a small vibrating cabbage.

Well, a friend of mine and i tootled of to the local offie as he looked much older than he was to purchased a bottle of the finest JD with the £20 i had in my pocket. Very windy night, and very dark by this point we get to the offlicence only to find the note in my back pocket had gone walkies. Realising that the only cash between us now would add up to about a bottle of piss water known as white lightning we started to panic a little. (bad experiances on cider before hand will lead to neither of us ever touching the stuff ever again).

Remember that this night was very windy and you could see fuck all because the council in walsall dont see the need for street lighting and would rather spend it on a fountin that never works or an art gallery that resembles a prison (if you have seen it, you know what i mean). Well.. we start walking, carefully retracing our steps and trying not to bump into any crack-addled scum. 3/4 of a mile up the road im pissed off, cold, and in need of a fag. Stopping to roll and sitting on the wall of someones front garden, whats that i see infront of me? holy freaking shite, my £20!!!! stuck under the wheel of a merc. woo says me! and off we trundle back to local booze merchent and lived happily ever after with a bottle of Jack and a 20 box of benson.

Best luck i ever had!
(Tue 19th Sep 2006, 13:51, More)
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