b3ta.com user aneraseroflove
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Raised by two puffins
Fed plenty of muffins
My hat fits just snug on my head
Hands made of maracas
Addicted to crackers
I live in a shoe by a bed

My hair looks like gravy
It's brown and quite wavy
And tastes quite delicious it's said
I've a grand plan for living
And it's here for trhe giving
"I was born, I now live, I'll be dead."

Recent front page messages:

When the Giant-Mecha-Papier-Mache-Penguin attacked, even the fearsome KittenCopter was no match

(Wed 13th Feb 2002, 10:38, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Not-stalgia

Panini Football Stickers
Me and my mate Chris were reminiscing about collecting Panini football stickers, and had a moment of realisation that now we both had full time jobs, collecting the full set of football stickers would be so much easier.

A couple of £50 purchases each meant we had tonnes of stickers in the book, and a load of swaps. Of course at the age of 30, not so many swappers to swap with.

But there in the back of the sticker album was the answer - they did swap events at many football stadiums and our local one, at St James Park in Newcastel was only a week away. How we giggled, we would just go down and swap away. It would be a hoot. A funny story for the chaps and we would fill in our albums in one fell swoop


I have never, and will never, look more like a paedophile. We wandered around a room full of 10 year boys with our swaps for about 5mins enduring the suspicious and hostile stares of their fathers and the worried looks from the staff until we, without swapping one single sticker, sloped out of the event never ever to mention it again.
(Fri 30th Aug 2013, 17:57, More)

» Strange things you've been paid to do

You ain't seen me, right
When I was a nipper, I was on me skateboard flinging recklessly around my estate when my mate's neighbour's car sort of got in the way. I was flung up. over the bonnet and onto the road on the other side. He was so guilty, and worried that we'd shop him that he gave us £20 to keep us quiet. Bearing in mind I was 7 and this is in 1981, this was a splendid amount of cash.

I spent it in caps for my toy gun. About 5000 of them. In one go. Best week ever. Fact
(Fri 1st Oct 2004, 15:41, More)

» Things you've done when you've had no money.

Smoking bangers
Having no money for fags, and already having gone through the existing butts to fashion a cigarette, a mate and I decided that perhaps herbs would be a suitable alternative to tobacco.

One rolled up "herbs de provence" fag later we gave it a go. I swear it's like smoking sausages, right up until you're violently sick.
(Mon 11th Oct 2004, 9:33, More)

» Irrational Hatred

Wet chips
That bit of watery ketchup that you pour on your plate if you forget to shake the bottle
(Fri 1st Apr 2011, 12:47, More)

» Have you ever started a fire?

Not a disaster. More of a tip
The garden of a rented house I used to live in had a staggering amount of huge yellow dandelions growing in it. One warm summer evening I discovered that when the flowers close for the night, the petals act as a sort of sponge which soak up lighter fluid very effectively.

Simply fill the closed flower with lighter fluid, apply a flame, repeat a hundred times and hey presto, you will have a field of swaying lights for the next 20 minutes or so.

Next put on some appropriate music, open a beer, light up and enjoy

alternatively, you can pretend you are a rock star playing your number 1 ballad to an appreciative stadium. But that might be sad.
(Wed 3rd Mar 2004, 11:34, More)
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