b3ta.com user shovelboy
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Profile for shovelboy:
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Hello there. Erm...

James. Twenty-something. Nerd.

I enjoy writing, playing guitar, gaming, and cake. Not necessarily in that order.

I'd quite like to be something in the entertainment industry when I grow up, probably behind the scenes, hopefully writing and/or directing. I've turned my hand to many a skill along the road, some things more successfully than others, but usually I'm happy if I can put anything on a page that'll give someone a good laugh.

Recent front page messages:

First entry in a long time.
(Thu 12th Jul 2007, 0:12, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Missing body parts

A chunk of my left kneecap
Broke off in a sport related incident in school (though I wasn't even involved in the sport since I'd forgotten my PE kit). I was messing around with a football and someone decided it would be fun to try a sliding tackle. My leg bent backwards with an almighty crunching sound and I end up with torn cartiladge and a chipped kneecap. Unfortunately, this didn't show up on the x-ray and therefore wasn't removed. So here's the semi-confession: It's not missing as such. It's still in there floating around, and quite frequently gets stuck in the joint meaning I can't straighten my leg properly. Occasionally this happens while I am in motion causing me to mis-step and fall flat on my face.

How I love the human body.
(Thu 1st Jun 2006, 19:05, More)

» Guilty Pleasures

Just a few...
I shout at videogames. Especially the old ones. I get really worked up too. It gives my friends the giggles and makes my mum shout at me but it always feels better when Sonic doesnt quite do what I want and I scream:

"Jump, you blue bastard!"

If a dog barks at me then I always bark back. Sometimes my friends actually have to drag me away.

And I love embarrassing my friends in public places. I was at the fair the other day and two of my female friends asked me and another mate of mine to look after their bags. Of course, as soon as they were out of reach my friend and I put the bags on our arms then held hands and skipped all the way to the ghost train. Ooh, the immaturity. And then in a posh hotel in London me and a friend grabbed hotel umbrellas then started chasing each other having a sword fight:

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

(In case anyone's interested, I'm on the left)

Oh, I'm such a child. But I wouldn't have it any other way.
(Sat 9th Apr 2005, 2:01, More)

» Losing it

Once, during a particularly violent sneezing fit
I was wandering around the house looking for the tissues, but upon finding them I pulled a tissue from the box and held it to my ear.

I really would like to know quite what was going through my brain when I did that.
(Thu 21st Jul 2011, 16:24, More)

» I'm your biggest Fan

I've been a Doctor Who fan for as long as I can remember.
So, when the chance arose to actually go see one of the actors who has portrayed him I jumped at the chance. My mate informed me that Colin Baker was appearing in a play in a local theatre. The Trial of a Timelord boxset had not long been released and as I was thoroughly engrossed in it that made him the Doctor at that precise moment. I knew nothing of the play but we thought the tenner admission would be worth it just to get the chance for an autograph afterward (as it happens the play was one of the funniest things I have ever seen).

The problem came when the lights came back on and we all started to leave the theatre. "Shit, our train comes in ten minutes. Is it worth missing it for this?" Well, I'd gotten this far so I may as well. Clutching a Revelation of the Daleks DVD I make my way to the stage door. Another thought rushes through my head - "Has he already left?". Then another "What if they don't let us in?". "What if he refuses?". I can't say I'm skilled in the fine art of autograph hunting, so anxiety was building as we stood there, me trying desperately to stop the DVD slipping out of my increasingly sweaty hands.

Finally, out he comes. Colin Baker is a massive man. I'm quite tall, but I still felt dwarfed by him. Now I've got to get an autograph and a photo without blurting out anything embarrassing. No quotes, no Who questions, just get him to sign the DVD, thank him and leave. It's the moment of truth. Is he going to refuse?

"Excuse me, Mr Baker?"

Luckily for me he was a very nice man, very patient and quite happy to chat to us. But then I snap - I've got my autograph, I want a photo too, but the extra adrenaline from the relief of him not being a colossal bastard now causes me to stammer in the most Porky-Pig-esque fashion imaginable.

Then it gets nightmarish. My friend also wants a photo and hands me his camera. And I'm shaking. Physically shaking. I just about manage to take the photo without reducing it to a massive blur. I've never been like this meeting anyone in my life. God only knows what bizarre transformation had occurred within my brain, transforming me from regular human to vibrating fanboy extraordinaire. I think Colin was a bit confused by this behaviour too.

"Wow, if you're like this now, you should meet Tom. He's the really popular one," he jokes.

I stammer a "thank you" and we turn to leave.

He too walks off in the direction of his taxi and as we both turn the corner a group of girls in fancy dress walk past us all. Robot fancy dress. All cardboard and tinfoil.

"Are these with you?" Colin jokes once again.

"Great," I think, "Not only have I made a twat of myself but now he thinks I have an entourage of Cybermen."

He gives us one last smile and disappears into the night. We did indeed manage to catch our train and get home safely.

I'm glad to say that meeting Sylvester McCoy a few months later went a lot better, although I did hand a big black marker pen to him wet end first, which was an utterly stupid thing to do.
(Tue 21st Apr 2009, 10:28, More)

» I just don't get it

I don't get
The appeal of reality TV. Surely its getting old enough now to be seen as getting dull. I wonder how TV execs will be trying to spice it up in a few years time.

"It's day 28 in the Big Brother house, and jane is in the artillery room"
(Sun 3rd Apr 2005, 5:03, More)
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