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Teh /talk Insomniac Club

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Just Harry made this for me, as he is a benevolent evil genius.

The University of Blogging

Presents to

An Honorary
Bachelor of

Majoring in
Psychotic Ranting
Dr. GoQuiz.com


Blogging Degree
From Go-Quiz.com

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Stalking out of the cliffs, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using a bladed baseball bat, cometh Wynoh! And he gives a spectacular grunt:

"For the love of carnage and discord, I bring darkness and mayhem like the world's mightiest bad-ass!"

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Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Personal Ads

Having met a couple of girls through a dating website,
I find the euphemisms irritating. Especially the one about being "curvaceous".

I realise that a sphere is technically just one big curve, but even so, that's pushing it a bit far.
(Sun 16th Sep 2007, 1:28, More)

» Puns

If you call someone "as gay as a bellringer"
is it a camp analogy?
(Fri 6th Mar 2009, 17:26, More)

» Personal Hygiene

Whilst I'm not proud of this,
I used to have the worst gut gas in the world as a nipper. On the most memorable occasion, I 'let one float' in the corner of a busy lunchtime classroom. Within five minutes, it had been vacated by 35 members of form 3w.
Two of whom were then sick.
I'm not sure if it was my diet, hormones, intestinal flora or what. But it definitely wasn't user friendly.
No, I wasn't a popular child.
Length? No-one dared venture back in for a full 20 minutes.
(Thu 22nd Mar 2007, 23:58, More)

» Cars

My cars have all been utter shitheaps.
I've never owned a new car - they've all been bought for about £300 and then run until fucked. This is good in that it means I rarely have high insurance premiums, and repair bills are low as I just scrap whatever it is and get another shed.
There was one that brought me a lot of joy, though. It was a Renault 5 sold to me by a garage owner I know, who had once had reason to replace the engine block entirely. He'd gone down to the breaker's yard, picked up a new engine, and stuck it in.
Only thing was, the old engine had been a 1.0 litre, and the new one was a 1.4 litre. With the original gear ratios, this meant that it went off like a rocket in low gear. I lost count of the number of people in expensive Mercs, BMWs and so on, who were left standing at the lights by something that looked like a shed.
I loved that car.
(Mon 26th Apr 2010, 9:35, More)

» Shops and Supermarkets

I used to work for Oddbins.
Many of you may remember the chain, but for those who don't , it was a wine shop which was generally aimed at taking the bullshit and snobbery out of the wine trade. And, by and large, it was quite good at it. It was particularly known for the expertise, and eccentricity, of its staff. I worked in a few shops for them, but probably the most memorable was the Swansea branch. It was great fun, as the manager was a militant Welsh Nationalist, and was also involved in never-ending union disputes with head office. To successfully do either of these things, you need a good sense of humour.
There were plenty stupid customer questions ("do you have any red Chardonnay?" stands out), but his customer service was a joy to behold. Such as the incident when two little old ladies wandered in and started peering at the sherry display.
Boss asks, in his helpful and friendly manner, if he can help.
"No thanks, luv, just having a quick look" comes the knee-jerk response. Boss nods, goes "ok" and pauses precisely three seconds before gently gripping each by the shoulder, saying "RIGHT! That's long enough!" and making as if to steer them back out of the door.
Fortunately, he did it in such a way as to make it clear he was kidding - the two old dears pissed themselves laughing, bought a bottle each, and promised they'd be back next time. Could have been rather unfortunate if they'd not seen the funny side of it, though - not something I'd have tried in the shop in Henley...
(Sun 13th May 2012, 10:47, More)
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