b3ta.com user ghetto soldier
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» Guilty Pleasures

knickers etc
I teach a class to biomed students on how to use micoroscopes. The class, 150 in all, is about 90% female. From the back of the lab, just as they are all leaning forward to use the microscopes, I am witness to a gasp inducing view. An ocean of knickers, thongs, tattoos and cracks. In fact I spend most of the 2 hour class there. Just can't help myself.
(Fri 8th Apr 2005, 17:07, More)

» Airport Stories

fashionably late
a friend of mine was coming back from hols in spain. His flight was at 10:00am far too early for him to haul his hungover frame from the bed. So he did what every good englishman would, turn up late and expect to be taken home. Which he was, the plane had been delayed by 4hrs and he wallked straight on much to the dusgust of everyone that had been slumming it during the delay
(Tue 7th Mar 2006, 19:43, More)

» When I met the parents

It's never easy to sit down to dinner with a g/f parents especially if her mum is schizophrenic. Most of the meal was spent trying to ignore the strange moaning sounds or prevent her from walking round the room backwards. Climax was finally reached when she tried to convince us that she had invented a new colour.

I was also alarmed to discover that upon meeting my mum the g/f had convinced her that I was a heavy heroin user. I'm not sure which annoyed me the most the g/f's twisted mind or the fact that my mum believed her.
(Fri 20th May 2005, 13:47, More)

» I just don't get it

I don't understand why I can't have my cake AND eat it. What else would I do with it?
(Tue 5th Apr 2005, 12:25, More)

» In the Army Now - The joy of the Armed Forces

foul mouthed squadies
Even as a teenage boy the squadies that taught us in the CCF still managed to shock us. I've forgotten most of it but this one still springs to mind "cleaning your rifle is even more important than cleaning the cheese off your bell-end for two reasons 1.your dick will still shoot when dirty and 2. that kid there looks like he would suck off the cheese if you clean his rifle."
(Sun 26th Mar 2006, 18:05, More)
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