b3ta.com user asdfasdfasdf
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» Never Meet Your Heroes

Not exactly a hero
In fact, far from it, but Dawn French and Lenny Henry have their kid at my school. Lenny Henry's all right, but Dawn French is a grumpy, angry woman. And their nanny (or au pair, or whatever) can't drive - she destroyed part of the junior house's fence with their ridiculous range rover. Bah.
(Thu 25th May 2006, 16:47, More)

» The most cash I've ever carried

that would have been about £400, in our young enterprise company cash box. The (unrelated to the QOTW) story is that our managing director managed to lose the keys to it for a week, so we had no access to £400 worth of profits from a trade fair and had to keep all or new takings stashed at the back of a desk drawer :)
(Sun 25th Jun 2006, 11:11, More)

» The Worst Journey in the World

Travelling back from a holiday in Jersey
on one of those super-fast Condor catamaran ferries, when I was about 10 or so, I fell asleep. The seas were pretty choppy that day and, needless to say, I woke up feeling pretty queasy.
Realising I was going to throw up, I jumped out my seat and ran for the side platform to empty my heaving stomach into the sea.
I reach the deck, which was a corner shape with railings facing to the side and to the stern, and just the one entrance - and it's packed full. There's people all along the back and side railings. I try to force my way into the back but they're all enjoying the view of the huge spouts of water that come up from the propellers behind us, and they're not giving. Realising this, I spot a gap in the people at the side railing and head for it. I lean out and hurl over the side of the railing. Straight into the high speed airstream coming down the side of the ship from my left. Naturally, the vomit is caught up in this, and proceeds to hurtle backwards, efficiently covering the 6 people immediately astern of me in the less-than-appetising contents of my stomach. Embarrassed, I run back inside to my mum, who takes me to the ladies loo to clean me up. So, as we're standing at the basin, what should I hear from a few basins down but "he threw up all over me, mum!". At that point I just went back to my seat and tried to look inconspicuous.
And to top all that off, I left my favourite jumper on the ferry. Bah.
(Wed 13th Sep 2006, 22:39, More)

» I met a weirdo on the interweb

All my interweb-people encounters have been fine - though so far that only amounts to meeting a couple of people from a druming forum I'm on, and a friend-of-a-friend I'd only talked to on msn.
(Wed 22nd Mar 2006, 23:14, More)

» Guilty Pleasures

Lotsa stuff
I's scary how many I have. Never really thought about it...

1) Sniffing things... My fingers after a good scratch of my arse or down there or my armpit, fit girls in crowds/as they walk past, even my shoes though they are vile.

2) Squeezing spots

3) Picking my nose and eating it. Don't we all?

4) Resting my hand idly on my balls when on the computer

5) Pissing in the shower/bath/sink or in swimming pools

6) Dancing madly to really loud music when on my own

7) walking round the house naked when on my own of course, but that isn't very often

8) Feeling superior to people when I know I'm cleverer than them, and correcting their mistakes. Correcting people who criticise my "pedancy" is my faviourite :D. I also like being a perfectionist when it comes to spelling/grammar etc.

9) "Accidentally" touching girls arses as they walk past or in crowds. And saying "I want to fuck you" or words to that effect in my head when with hot girls.

10) Climbing the stairs on all fours :D I've been doing that all my life... gets some odd looks at school...

11) Pulling out my hair (head hair) :P

12) Farting in bed or in the bath, then deliberately smelling it... mmm

13) Peeling off dried PVA from my hands... A lot of people seem to have said that but I don't care

14) Picturing killing people I'm talking to... usually with a massive pickaxe in the head... so stress relieving.

15) Masturbating with other people around

16) And of course... Reading B3ta when I should be revising/doing coursework/working.

17) making a really long post even though I don't really have anything original to say... and then not apologising... bwahahaha

EDIT: geolokk: :( It's a typo... honest. But I'll leave it in for the benefit of people reading this. You in turn might like to be alerted to the fact that it's "pedantry" not "pedancy"... the very mistake to which the sentence pertains. I hope that was deliberate. :)
(Tue 12th Apr 2005, 12:57, More)
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