b3ta.com user Nayson
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As i am a lazy man who cannot be arsed to think of something amusing to write here, ill just link you to my record collection

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» Petty Sabotage

He still married her

My mate left his mobile phone on the table in the pub one night, and while he was at the fruit machine i managed to edit two names in the mobile's internal phonebook.

I put his fiancee's name over the top of my number.
I put my name over his fiancees number.

This meant that i could send him text messages, and they would come up on his mobile screen as being from his fiancee. Which is exactly what i did.

Obviously, these messages were along the lines of "ive found out about you and that slut" and "i just cant trust you, i dont even want to see you anymore"
I also turned my moblie phone to silent, so when he rang "her" it would sound to him like she was ignoring his calls, where as in reality, my mobile would be ringing away silently in my pocket.

What a cunty thing to do, eh?
(Wed 11th May 2005, 17:19, More)

» Stupid Tourists

We like to make it confusing for em...
I work on the railway, and used to be on the trains that connected Stanstead Airport with the Midlands and the North West.

On the departure screens at the train station at Stanstead, you could only get trains to two places:

1] London Liverpool Street
2] Liverpool Lime Street

Now people who have just stepped off a plane walk into the station headed for our glamourous capital city are confronted with this:

The London trains usually had "Liverpool St" on the front,
The Merseyside bound ones had "Liverpool L St" on the front.

So, i know that the Tourists are told that Stanstead is some way out of London, and that our trains here are shite, but how i wondered how many of them thought that a five hour journey was taking the piss somewhat, what the fuck a big murial of John Lennon as the Mona Lisa was doing just outside Liverpool Station, and why they couldnt see Big Ben on the skyline...
(Fri 8th Jul 2005, 0:27, More)