b3ta.com user clusp
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Profile for clusp:
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I'm old enough to know better.
By day I work as a Neurology tech, by night I dress in my girlfriends summery frocks and cruize Clapham Common with a "Golf Sale" sign. I'm new to the Gimp software I use, purely due to the fact it was free, so I hope my amaturish style will one day be mistaken as an intended 'quirk'.
In my spare time I enjoy collecting photographs and postcards of elderly ladies in the process of quilting or lace making.

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Petty Sabotage

I used to work for a charitable organisation
the one where Blunket gets his dogs from.
At the time I was a little bitter about a few things and, as we had a common/staff lounge, I decided it might be fun to take in a batch of oestragen micky and minnie mouse fairy cakes for my co-workers.
I managed to get hold of two months worth of the contraseptive pill to crush up and add to one of those Disney cake mix thingys.
I made two batches, the mickey ones (they had a rice paper picture) had the crushed up pills in them while the minnie ones were un hormoned, I figured that if I didn't eat any of the cakes people might suspect. I left all the little cakes on a plate in the staff lounge early one morning then went up to feed the doggies, by lunch time the cakes were all gone.
A few weeks later there was a bout of worried girls buying pregnancy tests and crying alot. Aswell as one of the more efeminate lads taking time off work to visit his GP about the bizzare, breastlike, growth of his pecks.
(Thu 5th May 2005, 12:04, More)

» The Dirty Secrets of Your Trade

Telephone engineers
can and do tap into interesting conversations whilst working in telephone exchanges (listen out for the 'click'),
If you're nice to us we can and will relocate the fault location so you don't get charged by your service provider,if you're an arse we'll make sure the fault is chargable.
It takes 10minutes to put broadband onto your line.
If the engineer thinks you're good looking he/she is more likely to save you £100 by making your extention sockets work (if you haven't been an arse)
We know how to put a latent high resistance fault onto your line which won't cause your line to crackle until it rains.
If you're attractive/nice to them, most engineers will put in the extra effort to get your phone/broadband working.
(Tue 2nd Oct 2007, 5:16, More)

» Teenage Poetry

Nice, happy stuff:
It's the Summer without sunshine,
It's the night without stars,
It's solitude confinement,
It's a life behind bars,
It's a muffled scream,
It's a stifling cry,
It's the sting of a tear drop,
It's the loneliest sigh,
It's uncompfortable silence,
It's waking from dreams,
It's cut into ribbons,
And it's ripped at the seams.
(Mon 15th Aug 2005, 16:02, More)