b3ta.com user Mookfish
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» Hidden Treasure

My 18 month old daughter
Found an interesting brown thing in her nappie (daiper) so attempted to eat it. Cue me diving accross the room to stop her and her big sister running around for the rest of the day telling everyone this, includeing her teacher at school.
(Mon 4th Jul 2005, 10:30, More)

» Ripped Off

Burger King
Too many years ago when I was a student, the local Burger King very kindly gave out vouchers for a free whopper at one of the bars.

The vouchers didn't have any restrictions (non of this "only valid when Burger king is closed" rubbish) and best of all they where made using a photocopier.

There must have been about 20 people from my halls using the universitys photocopiers for this.

Lasted almost a month before Burger King refused to take them.
(Fri 16th Feb 2007, 22:18, More)

» My most gullible moment

On a day trip to Lancashire
The police were stopping cars on the other side of the road, I asked my auntie what they were doing.

"Checking passports, you need a passport to get back into Yorkshire"

I spent the rest of the day plotting how I would cling to the bottom of the car to sneak through the checkpoint!
(Thu 21st Aug 2008, 23:25, More)

» Stupid Tourists

Stupid locals
A couple of years ago my fiance and I were visiting my parents in York. Some schoolkid (from the school that I went to, cringe) asks my fiance if she dyes her hair. She replied "Yes I keep dying it brown but it always goes back like this" and he believed her.

Her hair is bright PINK!
(Wed 13th Jul 2005, 23:59, More)

» When animals attack...

My Grans dog
My Grans dog, a bitch, repetedly tried to hump my leg when she was getting on abit.

A friends cats used to try to claw my legs off so I would leave them behind when I whent home, althouh I think this is normal for cats when they sit on you.

My dad's overweight dog, who came from a blue cross animal shelter, was a complete nervous reck at first, but did improve after awhile, unfortunatly she had a tendancy to suddenly jump on people if anything startled her. Not good for a particulary scrawny 10 year old boy. And then when she calmed down she would get excited and dribble all over me. Poor dog ended up going back to the blue cross shelter and becoming the pet of one of the staff after a vicious neighbour kept making false reports about excessive barking, fouling etc, to the point that the dog might have ended up having to be put down by court order or taken by the RSPCA who would have to put her down because she was not an animal who they could rehome.

On the plus side, we did anoy the neighbor continuously until she and her boyfriend moved out 18 months later. Actually he moved out a bit earlier, having first got rid of his knakered fiesta and bought a Golf GTi like what he had when he first moved in with her. I think he came to his senses and left her as she was a controling bint.

But in those 18 months my dad took every oportunity to piss her off. Looking after 20 or 30 budgies (or something like that) for two weeks and feeding them at 2 in the morning, that kind of thing. The best one was probably burning the garden rubish right were a stack of car tyres had been and putting the tyres in the shed. She phoned the council/enviromental health and reported us for burning tyres. They turned up, my Dad produces the the tyres from the shed, and says "Why would I burn these? They are brand new!"

Erm I think I may have gone slightly off topic her, sorry.
(Tue 7th Jun 2005, 0:25, More)
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