» Fancy Dress

Fancy dress chronicles...
okay they may be a bit small.. or a bit rubbish.. but here are the chronicles of salbo baggins fancy dress escapades (most of them) since the small age of 17..



mad hatter - complete with teapot for halloween, was an excellent way to get free drinks by requesting that people poured just a little bit into my teapot, then i would drink it out of the spout just for them!! worked into someone spiked it with jelly beans and i choked and spat it all out...^_^



barbie and ken party.. was told at very short notice.. so i got my gangster outfit, bought a crap toy gun on the way and drew a tash and beardedness!then i proclaimed the arrival of 'don ken!'many things happened, but thats another qotw altogether.. :D



Yet another fancy dress party of the third kind? yeah i was jessica rabbit, just coz i have red hair and i could...my heels broke off on my shoes though :-( thank god i bought my trainers mwahahahaha..



most recent haloween - i spandexised myself and went as a kittie...miaow!

i [heart] fancy dress parties...

The mad hatter i believe was most sucessful..
(Tue 17th Jan 2006, 13:42, More)

» The passive-aggressive guilt trip

Heres another one
Oh my rage..

I once had an extremely possesive bf who did nothing short of practically ruining my life. I was young, naive, and also stupid enough to let him live with me AND go out with him for a year and a half...e.g.

In Brief

me:Hello monkey!did you have a nice day?
stupid monkeyfaced cnut:No i didnt coz mummy wont give me thousand of pounds to fund my drug habit/buy me whatever i want.
me:Oh dear there there.
SMFC:Go to the shop and get me a beer.
me:No.I have no money [he spent it]
SMFC:Oh alright then, dont go to the shop and get me a beer then.
me:Okay then :-)
SMFC:GO TO THE SHOP AND GET ME A ******* BEER! [cue tantrum and breakage of objects]
*sigh* * salbo goes to shop and gets a beer*

second example, same bloke, different accurately descriptive name:

Me: Hello cretinous idiot, im just popping to see my best friends [who i havent seen for weeks] would you like to come? You havent seen anyone for a while...
Cretinous Idiot:No. But why dont you go and have a good time?
me:okay then! see you later!
....few hours later...
Me:hi i had a lovely time
CI: [with scowl] YOUTOOKAGESWEWERESUPPOSEDTOBEHAVINGAQUIETNIGHTALLYOURFRIENDSHATEMEHAVEYOUBEENHAVINGALESBIANAFFAIRGOTOSHOPANDBUYMEABEERGOBUYMEDRUGS.

*sigh* that was also in brief.Being with him for the length of time i was, was the most stupidest thing i ever did...
If i ever see that scowl again i will punch it until it becomes dust. seriously. i feel like punching something now. im taking over the msgboard! mwahahahaha...^_^
(Thu 13th Oct 2005, 13:40, More)

» The most cash I've ever carried

money money money
My bf inherited what he bragged to me would be thousand and thousand of pounds but because he spent most of it before his trust fund was supposed to come out, the solicitors charged ridiculous fees so he got the princely sum of 9k instead.

4 k he gave to his ex girlfriend for shit loads of marching powder or some sort of child maintenance because he had a kid that he would only ever see if the ex wanted him to get some stupid marching powder.

1k he lent to my mate who i knew wouldnt pay it back. the other 4 k went straight into my hands.

i wanted a money fight. he wouldnt let me.

He spent it on trying to start a business of the dodgy kind and failed miserably (probably coz he shoved it up his nose in the form of marching powder.)

I never got to have a money fight. one day i will have a money fight.
(Thu 22nd Jun 2006, 16:51, More)

» I met a weirdo on the interweb

Hmm...
First of all there was my moms stalker who phoned every school in my town to find out where my dad worked, tried to get a story in the local paper about us and sent my mom the most disgusting emails about most horrifically disgusting fetish topics (which i happend to nosey about and read being my nosey 15 year old self) and also used to ring us alot and be a pain in the butt...he has injunctions now...

Then she started going into crazy american chatrooms and spending rather an awful amount of time on the phone to america and canada, you couldnt get near the phone when one of her friends 'fell into a coma'.

They all eventually decided to have a meet in boston so my mom went to my disgust and apprehension of meeting totally random internet people. The day she was due back she phoned home and said she wasnt coming back for a while. Cue myself demanding information about the now obviously wreckered marriage between my parents. Cue me drinking an entire bottle of vodka and throwing up for the first time!.

Then my mom comes back eventually only to say parents are divorcing and shes going to canada to live with a interweb dude...1 week before i was due to take my gcses. Anyway she comes back with him about a year later gets married and lives happily ever after and now my family size has quadrupled and i have to spend extortionate amounts of money on xmas presents.and i have a cute baby brother. anyway its all okay now...
(Tue 21st Mar 2006, 11:33, More)

» Scary Neighbours

once upon a time
i lived in a cardboard box apartment supplied by one of the housing associations. Here is a list of my neighbours!

3.Non existent very old man. Used to get alot of teenage lads going round...
4.My friend danny. I think he was the alrightest person in the building apart from encouraging my bf to do the stuff he wasnt supposed to be doing and playing ska very very loud (i like ska though)
5. i lived here with my horrible nasry (Ex) boyfriend. we made alot of shouty racket.
6.A nice guy who was never in and used to randomly come round with psychadelics..
7. [bearing in mind these flats should house 2 people max] consisted of about ten iraquis. they operated on a 24 hour basis, having a steady stream of very noisy visitors who didnt know the meaning of a door bell or a drop call..they left the rubbish everywhere and were damn creepy. they liked to play eminem and arabic music especially at 3am in the morning which i could hear perfectly in my nice interrupted sleep before having work at 9am... While i was away on holiday they gang raped a girl. i left anyway the week after that

Did i mention in the block next to us we had a prostitute who used to sell her wares in the alleyway next to my flat. It was just a rumour, we saw...

and also one time there was loads of cops coz they found a dead body in the block of flats on the other side?

And the kids who used to break in and set fires in the hallways?

Ah the joys of living in smacksville (spring bank), hull...
(Tue 30th Aug 2005, 14:44, More)